He's kind of a big deal.

So, as you all know, Jeff is the daddy to all my babies.  Sometimes he wonders aloud at this, but then his kids will do something so undeniably, him, that there's no room for question or argument.   This year I didn't have the pressure of trying to compete with Jeff--I mean, after he does something nice for me on my blog, it's a bit intimidating to reciprocate.  My blog has been so postless lately that I got to take advantage.  So, SURPRISE, Jeff!!!  No card for you .  It's all going public. 

 I asked the kids if they'd like to give me some answers to questions about Jeff--just to see where they stand on the subject of their dad.  They had some opinions:  

   

h   "What do you think Dad is best at?"

Riley: "Art." "And, going through packages of caramel or peanut butter Dove’s chocolate."

Cole:  "Drawing and having fun with me."  "And being nice."

Syd:  "Yeah."  (singing),"The suuuuuuun." "One two and that." "Perfect!"  (oookay).

Me:  I would have to say that Jeff is best at being himself.  I've always really admired, and been frustrated by, his ability to be just fine with who he is, and see no need for change, unless it will be better for us, as his family.  He's really, really great at a lot of things.  Sometimes, disgustingly so.  But I really believe that the best thing about Jeff is that he understands who he is...and that's something about myself that I still find a struggle.  He's my rock in the places I need him most.  

2   "If Dad is having a bad day, how can you tell?"

Riley:  "He’s even quieter than usual." "Oh, and he takes naps early."  "That’s the solution to a bad day, you take naps."  (That's my girl).

Cole:  "True to the naps…actually, he talks quiet."
"I mean, quiet-er."

 

Syd:  "Dad’s saaad."  "No. Dad’s aaaaangry."  (giggling), "Dad’s angry." (Obviously, he's pretty intimidating).

Me:  The kids are right.  He actually gets more quiet than usual.  And the usual culprits are too much work, too many bills, and just plain old perfectionism.  He really takes his role as our breadwinner seriously.  Sometimes, too seriously.  But, we all know that we are the reason he works so hard. He's very selfless when it comes to having the means to everything we need.  Sometimes real life isn't as fun as it should be--but he makes it work for us.

3  "Who is Dad’s favorite?"

Riley:  "I don’t know. Squish?  Cause, usually the baby is everyone’s favorite."

Cole:  "I think Dad likes the entire family."

Syd:  "Rainey!" (This is while she is pulling my eyelids away from my eyes). 

Me:  I think we are truly the reason Jeff does everything he does.  And, it's a lot.  People in my neighborhood really believe that I am single or separated from my husband, because they never see him.  But I know that his work is always done and finished and perfected with us in mind.  The kids know that, too.

4  "How can you tell if Dad is having a good day?"

Riley:  He’s jumpier than usual."
Me: "Jumpier how?"
Riley:  "I don’t know….doing things he doesn’t normally do?  Like making smoothies. Being kind of silly.  And he makes a little bit more time for us."

Cole:  "He’s happy. And cheerful."
Me:  "Have you ever seen dad cheerful?"
Cole:  "Uhhh." (giggling), "Stop looking at me. Right now!"

Syd:  "Pecause.  Rainey’s going sad. And Sydney. And Riley Cole."  (Totally).

Me:  I know when Jeff is having a good day, because he will tell me something good that happened to him that day, like it juuuust came into his mind.  Like, "Oh, I was told that the editing that I did last weekend was phenomenal and that I saved the day and the company once again, like I always do". ;)  He's a bit more modest than that, but I can tell that it's pleased him that he's been recognized for the hard work he does.  And it makes him feel a little freer, a little more in control of his life.  And his reaction to feeling more in control?  Silly behavior and willingness to be light and fun.  He brings mischief to the kids and me...and it's times like that, that I realize he really ensures that we keep the fun around.    

5      
    "What is the weirdest thing that Dad does?"

Riley:  "Um…that list is kind of long."

Cole:  "I don’t think he does anything weird."
(Riley to Cole:  "Well, you’re a liar.")
Cole:  laughs maniacally.

Syd:  "I go swimming at Gramma’s house."  "The Dad."
Me:  "The dad?"
 Syd:  "Yeah."

Me:  There are a lot of things that are weird about Jeff.  Those that know him, know this to be true.  And honestly, I find myself trying to explain his "eccentricities"  a lot more often to people than I'd like.  But, he's also the best father my kids could ask for.  I've never seen a man more willing to let his kids be who they are, and encourage it, like Jeff does.  He's fearless.  That same aspect of him knowing who he is, and being fully okay with his weirdness has been the best thing for our babies.  They are nice and thoughtful.  And not quick to judge.  I love that so much about Jeff.  He instilled those values into Riley and Cole, and Syd.  And I don't know that I would have been brave enough to do it on my own.  He's a great example to all of us, and that's because he embraces who he is.

6   "How do you know that Dad loves you?"

Riley: "There are a lot of answers to that…so…I don’t know. I just get a feeling he does.  Like, he does a lot of things for us.  Like, he makes time for us, and plays with us."

Cole: "He does nice things for me."  (Getting emotional), "Umm…he always plays with me." (Shrugs, and looks at his hands).

Syd:  "Because he’s happy!"
Me:  "Do you make daddy happy?"
Syd: "YEAH! I am happy! You are happy! You are happy teef! Show me da happy teef!" (Apparently when I smile, I have the "happy teeth").

Me: There are a lot of things Jeff does to let me know he loves me.  They aren't the things I think of as typical, I guess, but I recognize them for what they are.  The fact that he looks to me to have the final say on life decisions is pretty big.  I know changing is hard for him.  Really hard.  But I also know that he listens when I feel like things need to change.  Maybe we go about it a little slower than I like sometimes, but he puts a lot of faith in me, and I appreciate that.  He gives me whatever I want.  In the end, it really does come down to that.  I know that sounds selfish and shallow, but I mean it in an honest way.  He knows that if I really want something, he tries to make it happen.  He does that for the kids, too...and I think that says a lot about his love for us.  Maybe we don't get every material thing we desire, but when it comes to us needing time, or attention, or things done, he'll make sure he carries through. He's also pretty romantic.  And pretty sexy.  And I could go on, but I'm thinking you get the idea.

7  "What are you most looking forward to doing with Dad this summer?"

Riley:  "Going to Las Vegas. Annnnnd, he has to take me to racquetball again."
Me:  "Does he know that?"
Riley:  "Not yet".

Cole:  "Playing with him and having fun with him.  Like, playing Skylanders, playing Legos... Playing games."

Syd:  "Because he go on Granpa's swimming.  It be so fun? YEAH IS FUN!!!" (I don't know if you're picking up on this or not, but she's really been on a swimming kick).

Me:  I'm looking forward to just having time to sit and watch shows with him.  To not have to rush through our day, worrying about obligations and schedules.  To be lazy.  You know how I am.  I know being relaxed and having an open schedule is a relief to Jeff--it gives him the feeling like he has leeway in his everyday life.  And I want that for him.  He really deserves to feel good about life, and in control.  Summers are really great for us, in that aspect.

8  "What is Dad’s favorite thing to eat?"

Riley: "sammiches. And, creamy chicken Alfredo."

Cole:  "I think he likes stuff from Bajio.  And also, sandwiches."

Syd:  "Um eggs?  And hot dogs! (Those are really her favorites, but she's pretty convinced that everyone loves whatever she does).

Me:  My cooking.  Juuuuuust kidding.  Cole was right, as far as Bajio goes.  I think he's officially gotten over the Bajio craving, but for a while the Mexican Pizza was a weekly staple.  He goes through cycles.  I'm not sure what his next infatuation will be, but he's branching out.  He's still all about chocolate....still needs to have treats.  I'm pretty sure that that will change when I stop liking Diet Mountain Dew.

9  "Who looks like Dad the most?"

Riley:  "Looks like him? Or reminds me of him?"
Me: "Both."
Riley: "Hmm… For some reason I keep wanting to say Zim." (From the cartoon, Invader Zim).  "I don’t know why.  I think Kory looks like Dad, too."

Cole: "I think Kory, too."

Syd: "SYDNEY!!!!! Yeah, I sooo pretty."  (So I'm thinking Jeff should feel pretty special).

Me:  I guess my question was really who in the family looks most like Jeff.  And my answer would be Cole.  Sydney has his eyes, and Riley is my personal mini-me...but Cole looks at me sometimes the way Jeff looks at me--like the world revolves around me.  And I love it.  Maybe it's the bond a mother has with her son, but I see Cole as a perfect boy.  I see him as kind, and funny, and honest when it counts--he tends to exaggerate quite a bit, and I know he comes by that naturally.  But he also listens when you need him to, is quick with a hug, loves this family so much, and is quick to forgive.  Now, my girls are beautiful and I love them, so.  But, when it comes to looking like Jeff, I really believe Cole will be a handsome reflection of his father. More so even, than he is now.   

1
"  "What is your most favorite thing about Dad?"

Riley:  "I don’t know…there’re a lot of options."
Me:  "Okay. Name a few."
Riley:  "K...he’s really nice, he um, like, he’s really really good at drawing, and he’s really smart.  And he’s helpful with my homework, too.  And he also made me love chocolate and peanut butter."

Cole:  "I don’t really have a favorite. I like a lot of things about dad."
Me:  "Is there anything particular?"
Cole:  "No not really.  I can’t …well, he’s really nice to the family, and fun, and funny, and other things.

Syd:  "He’s happy.  The mom, Dad! Pecause he’s happy! No more! No more Daddies."  (She was done talking about "Daddies").

Me:  My favorite thing about Jeff is that he's mine.  I have told him for a lot of years that I won't share him--with anyone.  Sometimes, it's even hard for me to share him with our kids.  Does that make me a bad mom?  Sometimes I wonder that.  But Jeff is honestly my life, and sometimes, I want him all to myself. He loves me.  He lets me know that in his own way, and I hope that in my bumbling attempts to let him know I love him, he picks up on it.  I hope he knows that when it comes to being the father of my children, there's no one else that could be better.  There's no one else that would love them the way they need to be loved, no one else that could understand them the way they need to be understood.  I'm grateful everyday for Jeff, even when we disagree or fight.  He's my best friend, and the one I'm excited to be with.  The one that I know was meant for me.

I'm hoping that this Father's Day, Jeff knows how important he is to our little family.  That without him, we'd fall apart.  So Jeff?  Just remember that.  Remember when you're feeling down, or maybe unappreciated, or maybe when I'm being terrible, (which really never happens, btw.), that you are loved.  And needed.  Forever and Always.