Thanks.

I wanted to respond to all your comments via post, rather than commenting in the appropriate section.  Because I know I have a lot of things to say and why not give you all a "pretend post" to glance over while you're faking your way through work?  
First off, the relief I feel is very freeing.  I have been able to sleep, and that in itself has made me feel less anxious and heartsick.  I don't know what I would do without sleep.  I would need to be locked up or something, because life looks a lot more dreary without it.  
Anyway, Kids Who Count called me today.   They made another appointment for Syd a week from today to have two specialists come out and give me their assessment of her.  I'm a little nervous, because no matter what, whenever there is any kind of "test" to be taken, I worry.  But I'm going into this knowing two things.  One, Syd is smart--she can figure stuff out that Cole still has a hard time with.  And two, she's really started to learn more and more in the last few days.  Also, I think having Peggy come out and exceed my expectations gave me a new view.  I'm less down on myself for Syd having hardships.  We are gelling more, and she's honestly trying, and I've found that I have more patience, and more readily accept that it will take time. 
More on that as it unfolds.

Again, much thanks for all your stories, inquiries, support, and just all-round good vibes.  It's all been felt.  I know that a couple of weeks ago between Cole and his gluten intolerance, and Syd's little meltdowns here and there, I was ready for a vacation.  From my life.  And the sad part is, I know that my problems, in comparison to a lot of people out there, are quite minimal.  But they always feel bigger.  

 I also said I really felt alone in this...and before, I was a bit afraid to blog about it.  Because it's personal.  You know, she's my baby.  

But I should have been more confident in your willingness to show love and help, and most of all, understanding.  I guess it's true that we all love someone more than we knew possible.  And they hold such a private and special place in our hearts.  And we share that feral, fighting protectiveness over them.
Brandi, Keri, Kory, Kyle, Lora, and Sharon.  Thanks for your love and concern.  
Amy, Erinn, Kass, Leah, and Sarah C-B:  I appreciated your sharing stories of concern about your little ones.  You know, to me, it's easy to see how smart and loving and confident all your kids are.  Whether it be in pictures, or just seeing them as they are around you.  I think Leah's comment of the Lord giving us our babies specifically to US is completely true.  We know them.  They know us, and we usually can give them the leeway they need to let them be them.  
However, sometimes life interferes.  And it's hard to keep perspective when you're so close to everything.  (And Moriah, I should have just told myself to rely on your advice about everything, because you were totally right all along--just like you always are).   :)
Leah, I feel like you nailed a lot of what I feel in your comment.  I do have a lot of guilt...because I drank Diet Mountain Dew while I was pregnant.  Because I was taking anti-depressants up until the day that I found out I was pregnant.  Because I'm so unhappy and uncomfortable while I'm pregnant, and I fear that the baby picks up on that, just by growing inside of me.  And I worry that somehow my babies think that's their fault.  Jeff tries to understand, but he just doesn't know what all that feels like.  I was supposed to give her this place to have the best start possible...and I wasn't perfect.  So sometimes I think that all that guilt that usually is put aside after you have the baby, hangs around...and then pounces when anything remotely negative or worrisome rears its head.
It's never meant to be easy, I think.  I'm always paranoid when things are going too smoothly, as well...so I guess I'm never satisfied.  But I know I'm loved.  And I know Sydney is loved, and I have  friends and family that honestly care and are willing to share their hardships, in order to help me get through mine.  I'm a lucky girl.  Love to you all.