Lately.

Disclosure: I'm just letting you know this is a LOOONG post about stuff that isn't as interesting as most of us would like it to be...especially if we blog stalk out of boredom...which I may or may not do. However, I'm thinking that since this blog is also a journal of sorts for me, everything needs to be typed out. If you find yourself falling asleep, go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, and maybe just watch some TV for a while. This post will be here waiting when you get back, and perhaps you can save the rest of it for when you have absolutely nothing better to do.

So I've been home bound. Cole was sick, Riley got sick, Jeff got sick and I was keeping up pretty well. Then Syd got sick, and all the rules changed. I'd read a little about RSV in infants, so when she started to show similar symptoms, I worried. (Remember, I'm a hypochondriac for myself, and for members of my family, so I didn't take her to the doctor right away). Saturday night is when things started getting really bad. She'd been sniffling and coughing a little since Friday, but things took a turn for the worse. Luckily Sunday I got to stay home with the kids and not have anywhere I needed to be. Sydney basically stopped eating. She was completely disinterested in her bottles and being that I make them special, just for her, I took a little offense. If there is one thing about my babies--and I can't say this about my kids anymore--it's that they looooove their bottles. Especially when filled with breast milk. This, and the immunities, are the only reasons I still insist on them having it. If Sydney were as willing to forgo food as Jeff and the kids, I wouldn't bother. It would so be worth the extra 20-25 bucks a week to just do formula, and actually get to sleep longer than 4 to 5 hour intervals....ah, just the thought...
(I find it's even easier for me to stray off topic when I'm sleep deprived). Anyway, back to Sunday and Sydney. I had tried to keep Riley and Cole away from her, but that was just impossible. I rationalized that I had to keep from kissing her while I had a cold sore, so they could do the same. However, it's just not possible. Our house isn't large by any means, and she's just so darn cute, that they couldn't stay away from her. Plus she'd probably been exposed to whatever they've been bringing home from school the previous week, so it was inevitable. Sunday night she'd been coughing so much that I really worried about her and she had so much mucus that her breathing became really fast and shallow. Add that to her not eating for a day and no wet diapers, and I was about to lose it. I was rocking her in the rocking chair and she began having a coughing fit again, and I took her down from my shoulder. She finished said coughing fit...and didn't breathe. I counted to four seconds, and began to panic, and gave her a fairly hard smack on her back after I saw her eyes begin to bulge. This got her crying again, and dislodged a big wad of goo from the back of her throat. I started crying...because that's what I do when anything is overly stressful. No, it doesn't help. At all.
My niece came over Monday morning because she got the day off of school to "go to work" with someone. Kind of like a career day, I guess. She chose me, because I'm a stay at home mom. Anyway, that's what I was told...I'm thinking the real reason was that she didn't want to go be in an actual work environment, when she could just come over here and play with the baby. Not that I minded in the least, because I enjoy her company and as a kid, I would have thought of that too--it's brilliant. Unfortunately for her, our day would consist of endless errands for a sick baby. My doctor squeezed Sydney in at about elevenish that morning. After checking her out, he said that she was definitely having some issues breathing and a contributor to that was her endless supply of mucus. At the hospital right now, because there are SO many babies with RSV, they have a little center with a machine that will suck all the baby's phlegm out of their nose and throat. He had to write me a prescription for them to do that, and sent us on our way, saying that he'd also order a lab to be done of the mucus, to find out what she had.
So, after three buildings and four wrong directions by people that supposedly work in the health centers and such...(seriously, has anyone considered the importance of a simple map at each information desk?), we finally wound up in the correct wing of the hospital on the correct floor. My niece and I didn't have to wait too long for Syd's "suction". However, while we waited, we could hear the process being done to another infant...and the progressive screaming as well. I mean this kid was terrified and angry, and it made my "mother's hackles" rise in a way that made me want to tell my niece to grab my purse and run for it, with me and Syd right behind her. I watched Sydney looking around, listening to the other baby as well, and she got that hurt look on her face and just started to sob her sad cry. I took it as a terrible omen.
Anyway, when our turn came they took us into a little room, and had me lay her on the bed. The nurse then unwrapped something from a plastic bag that just looked wrong...complete with two looong straws that were going to be placed in Syd's nose and down her throat. After a couple breathing tests and such, they had me hold my baby down, and stuck the straw in one nostril and sucked all the yuck out, and then did this to the other nostril. I had to put a lot of weight on Syd cause weak as she was, she still was uber pissed that we were doing that to her, and was fighting for all she was worth. I cried--yet again--because I hate for any of my babies to be in pain or scared. Does it help? Again, no. But it does make me look even more unstable than I am, and it's how I deal. So, that's how it goes.
They removed two whole ounces of goo from Syd. She was coughing less, and she calmed down really quickly when they took the straws out. They had to actually save it, and send it to the lab to see what she had, and then told me the Doctor would call me later. I have to say that I'm really grateful that my niece was there with me, and such an excellent help...(THANKS JAMIE!). She kind of held it all together with her quiet way, and her ability to tell me what I needed to hear.
Sydney was pretty good for the rest of the day, she began to eat more and started having wet diapers--something that for a parent, is one of those things that you rejoice over. Nothing is really as exciting as knowing that all systems are go, with an infant.
Tuesday night I got the call from my doctor that Syd tested positive for RSV. If I was worried before knowing that she MIGHT have it, I was a wreck knowing that she did. All of a sudden I could swear her mouth was getting a more bluish tinge and that her chest was retracting, and that she'd stop breathing as soon as I closed my eyes at night. Needless to say, I nor Jeff slept much at all. Wednesday she woke up at 5 am and coughed--literally for 30 minutes. It was the body-wracking, vomit inducing cough that you know from personal experience hurts, and then seeing a baby do it, makes you just know it's 100 times more painful. And then after that, she was fine...she laughed and talked and smiled and was eating like she was making up for the last three weeks. I was convinced she was on the up and up. Until about 9 pm, and the coughing started again. I called the doctor, and he said that I should probably go in to have her "vacuumed" again. With much dread, I did.
This time my fabulous sister and her fabulous husband came with me. My own husband stayed home with our other sick kiddos....as dragging them to the hospital at 10:00 at night, when they had school the next day, seemed almost as daunting as going alone. But I didn't have to, because of the previously mentioned wonderful sister and brother-in-law. Apparently we went at the right time. They'd had babies in there all day, getting the same thing done. When it was our turn, Chris opted to stay with our stuff, and Muffy came in with me. I was dreading it even more this time, as I knew what to expect and the little boy that went in before us had screamed the entire time he was in there. When I took Syd in, she was happy. She was breathing pretty poorly, but she was happy. In fact, the nurse said, (and this is a bunch of shameless bragging), that she was so cute she didn't want to do it. Syd gave her a really big smile, as I'm sure she recognized the word, "cute", and the nurse groaned and said, "You're just going to make this extra hard on me, aren't you?" After that, I braced myself and Sydney, and the horror began...only it wasn't bad. Sydney seemed to know what to expect, and she closed her eyes and looked uncomfortable, but didn't scream. She took it like a champ, and the nurse said she'd not seen that in the three years that she'd been doing the procedure. She also said that Sydney had the prettiest eyes and smile she'd seen and that I had a beautiful baby. I didn't want to mention that, but...;)
And that's where we are for now. Sorry about the lapse yet again in posts, but I've honestly been really busy. I'm grateful that I AM a stay at home mom. Because I know how hard it is to not be. With Riley I had to work--up until I had Cole. And it was hard. I also know that people do what they have to do to make ends meet, and those of you that have to work, I respect what you're doing. It's a huge juggle and stress a lot of the time. I've been relishing the chance I have to hold Sydney and just let her snuggle to me, and feel that she's loved. Because I can, and I feel that I should. In a way, it's helped and comforted me just as much as it has her. She's still got her coughing jags, and she's so exhausted that she can't really concentrate on sleeping. But she's happy. And that's all I can ask.
Thanks for all the well-wishes and such. Hopefully she'll be ready to get out and about soon. Love to all.

Oh, and on a totally unrelated note, I was currently contemplating how much I hate the band Nickleback. Which is a lot. That is all.