And the next 5 are...

'Sup Foo(l)s?  Sadly this is a greeting that I have engraved into my frontal lobe...but I usually have to control myself, as it's so "1998".   Today I'm lettin' loose, so beware.  I know you're all anxiously awaiting to read what I wrote about the next 5.  I kinda now get why on shows like American Idol they spread everything out.  It's annoying as crap for the watcher, but for the person creating the show, it's a nice buzz to know that people are more than ready to find out what you know.  Especially the ones that really know their alphabet, and know that their number, or letter in this case, will soon be called....;) Oh.  The.  Power.

Before I tell you about some more beautiful girls, I'm going to let you in on a few new things in my life.  Read it, and love it.  The wait makes everything that much greater, right? This weekend we were signed up for three showings.  Two of which, actually showed.  I guess this is normal, however, it's kinda maddening.  I mean, I know I technically only have to open the door for them, and pretend to be nice, and explain there will be new tile, and such...and then I'm gone.  And then I'm out of the house like it's on fire, because I think if I were there while someone wanted to say something negative about my little home, I'd automatically have to shout, "SO'S YOUR FACE!", or something.  I'm kinda overprotective.  And highly vulnerable.  It's a weird combination.  On the other hand I have these totally conflicting desires that someone highly trashy will buy this house...with like, 43 extended family members and at least 10 cars just to spite my rotten neighbors.  No one will ever find a place to park, and they will have cigarette butts and animal poop in their yards like some people have grass...No, I can't explain my bi-polarity.  I tell Jeff it's just PMS.  
Apparently the first couple that looked at our house liked it.  They were cute and young and the girl was still wearing her scrubs and IHC or whatever name tag.  I guess people are supposed to leave feedback on your house; I found that out today.  After reading what my realtor sent me, I found out that our home "shows very well", "is fairly priced for all the upgrades", (which are essentially the soon-to-be tile, and all the shelves  Jeff made in each room), and that the couple "won't be making an offer, because they've already offered on another house.  But if something falls through with that, our house is their second choice".  Um....excuuuuse me?   Our house is NOT sloppy seconds.  However, my neighbors did decide to meet at their home for a party at the time that the lookers were standing outside talking to their realtor.  I may have been spying down the street incognito in the Park Avenue.  Or maybe not incognito.  Either way, I'm sure the reality of our neighbors will be an issue. 
Not too bad for the first showing, I think.  I don't know.  We don't want to have to get out of here before the kids get out of school, so I'm fine with being second choice.  The next people didn't show...therefore making me miss my bookclub, and that made me a little pissy.  And this morning, I got a "surprise" call that we needed to be out of the house in an hour, because someone wanted to drop by.  I guess that's the system, but it doesn't really make it that much less annoying.  I haven't been sent their feedback, yet.  All I know is it better be something nice, cause the neighbors weren't even HERE this morning. 

Okay, now that I've filled you in on "Rainey's life", I guess I'll get to the part that you're really eager to read.  And I've noticed I've used an awful lot of quotation marks in this post.  Just deal.  

I really love this picture because when I think of Kelli, this is how I see her.  She's ready to laugh and she shares a love for the same types of stuff that Jeff and I do.  She's always willing to take Riley and Cole and Sydney if we need her and she's like that for all of her nieces and nephews.  A brave person, she's willing to try different things, and she's lovely.  Anyway, I have a personal memory of Kelli that I really don't feel comfortable sharing all the angles of...and that's just because I need to protect the privacy of others.  But I will tell my and her side, because it's still something I think about, and how she helped.  A few years ago something happened that made me...sad.  And confused.  And lost.  I wasn't the only one that was affected this way.  Like all really difficult times in our lives, the hardship that we all endured ended up making us stronger.  However, at the time, I felt like my heart was breaking.  For others involved, and for me.  I was outside getting some stuff together (read:  Having an emotional breakdown outside of company), and Kelli drove up...she brought something by at that exact moment.  I kind of tried to hide/look like I was really searching for something in the car that I was standing next to...and I was caught.  I don't really like crying in front of people.  I'm a crybaby...but I'd prefer to do it like they show in the movies--while water is running or when I'm alone in the car or in my bed.  It's a bit diva-ish, I know....but I feel like if no one is around I can get it all out, exhaust myself, and then be too tired to be emotional.  It's my system.  It works for me.  Kelli ruined it at that moment. ;) She saw my face, which I'm sure wasn't just tear-streaked, but I'm sure there was some snot and red eyes and blotches, and puffy skin.  And then, she asked the dreaded question:  "What's wrong?"  
At that point, the flood gates opened and I started rattling off every emotion I was having at that second.  And there were a lot of them, and they were complicated.  But instead of running away, and giving me"time to be alone", which is what I do in uncomfortable situations, she listened and looked sad for me, even like she might cry, too.  In that moment, as I watched her, I expected something like:  "it's over, we gotta shake it off".  Instead she touched my arm and told me that it would take a while, but things would get to where they wouldn't be as hard.  And she hugged me and told me that it was going to be okay.   
She pulled away and she had tears in her eyes but her smile was kind and loving...I know I'm making it sound lame, but how she looked at that moment helped me know that "this too would pass".  And that I was loved.  And that what she does for a living--being a social worker--was something she was born to do.  Because she made me feel like everything would eventually be okay. She said what I needed to hear, and did what I needed her to do.  Kelli has this ability to adjust to the situation.  She can laugh with you when things are good, and she knows when to listen and when help.  And when it matters, she's there.  I'm lucky to have her.  

Keri introduced me to Jeff.  I've told you all that.  However, she was my friend before Jeff entered the picture.  She was and still is a very deep-thinker...which was something I was not, and usually still am not.  I was all about discovering my own bliss, and upcoming weekend plans, or the next thing I should buy, or flirting with the salesmen that we worked with.  Consequently, her introducing me to Jeff was taking a chance, I think, because I wouldn't exactly have had high hopes in someone like I was--which wasn't awful by any means, it's just I was kinda aimless and mixed up. Anyway, Keri had me meet Jeff and...I liked him.  A lot.  Which was kind of a problem, because I had all these skeletons in my closet.  From what I'd picked up on him, for us to become anything more than friends, I'd most-likely have to share.   He was "in" to honesty.  So, I just kinda enjoyed being with him, enjoyed the crush and the rush I got whenever he called me, and enjoyed that being the extent of it.
Back on topic:  this is about Keri, so I'll get to my point.  I'd been dating Jeff for about a month, and Keri invited me to go to Seattle with her.  She was moving a lot of stuff back up there with her boyfriend, Vic.  She told me she was thinking about moving back up there, and asked if I'd like to come along.  And then she also told me that Jeff was probably going to come with her.  Long story short, I had a lot of stuff on my plate right then.  I went with them.  
I think you always see someone's best side when they're with the one they love.  Not that Keri wasn't fun to be around before Vic, but there was this softer side to her.  When we arrived at Vic's apartment, and he met us outside she lit up.  She didn't gush by any means, that's not how she is.  But she got this big smile...a lot like the one in her picture and she said "Hi".  She and Vic looked at each other, and I was glad that Jeff was there, because had I only have come with her, I totally would have been the third wheel. I think the reason that that memory is so completely ingrained where Keri is concerned is because at that moment, I wanted what she had.  I saw it.  I saw that she and Vic loved each other and I saw this entirely new side to her.  And she's one of those people that always show me a different side of themselves just when I think I've figured them out.  I unfairly call it "weird".  But in reality, I'm always kind of jealous that one person can have so many facets...and that they can save parts of themselves for one person, specifically.  She does that a lot.  She's Keri, and she's a daughter and a mother, and she's a wife, and she's a friend and a sister and she's a teacher, and she's an accountant. And she so fully takes on each role that it's hard to remember that they are all her.  But everything she is, is of great importance to her.  And I think that's such a respectable way to be.   

Larraine is my mom.  I know she occasionally reads my blog...but she can't ever remember her blogger password, so when it comes to leaving a comment, she doesn't.  Anyhoo, Mom is currently here in Utah because both of her parents are having health issues.  I haven't seen a lot of her.  My grandfather just had heart surgery and my grandmother just had some kind of surgery that I don't know what it's called.  Essentially though, it's a lot of cauterizing vessels and electricity and stuff like that in order to keep her heart functioning at an acceptable rate.  I know this is scary for my mom, as she and her parents are really close.  I have a feeling that everything will work out the way it needs to be, and I think that this comes from my previous experience with my own father's health issues. But my heart goes out to them, to her, because I know it's difficult when the ones you love are scared and uncomfortable.  
My mom has made a lot of sacrifices for me.  Life was hard for her.  A lot of the time she was an only parent of four kids and she always worked a full time job.  And I didn't make it easy for her, I believe that I struggled with depression and anxiety from a early age, come to find out, it's genetic... but at the time it wasn't proven as "real".  So I had a lot of issues--and I included her because I'm kind like that.  ;)  I love her.  There are a lot of things that I don't understand about Mom...and her about me.  But she's my mother, and she is one of the most selfless people that I know.  She cares for others--genuinely cares.  And she is the first to help when someone needs anything.  I hope that I can be like her.  I hope she can be happy because she deserves it.  And she's missed out on a lot.  I don't have a certain memory of Mom, I have a million of them.  And there's always a common factor:  she'll be there if I need her.  I try not to ask a lot of her, because I know that if I did, she'd do all she could to give it to me...so she's like, my secret weapon.  I'm not overly vocal about it, but I know she has my back, and she'll help me in any way she can.  I hope I'm as devoted to the people I love, as she is. 

When Leah and I were sophomores in high school, she showed up to school one morning with her hair cut off.  Leah had had this shoulder-length 'do for the last few years, and as it was the early 90's, it was pretty much the same hair style every girl in Buffalo high had.  Including myself.  No one really did radical stuff in Buffalo as far as hair was concerned--I mean, we had a system, you know?  A system that worked.  
Anyway I walked in to get some caffeine out of the Pepsi machine, and she was sitting there, in her JCrew dress that I coveted, and her banana yellow converse high tops, and she was lovely.  Her hair was adorable...I'd always wanted black hair, and Leah's was naturally that color.  It was combed to the side, like you'd see on models.  There had been no trying to get her courage up before hand, or support from fellow friends....she had done this suddenly all by herself, without anyone's advice or approval.  And I watched her as she just sat there demurely looking through her biology or something, while everyone else stared and whispered, and wished they had thought to do it first.  As I was headed to first period I heard Dallas Sanders say to some guy in glasses (Amy Hulet's brother?), "It's takes a pretty hot chick to cut off all her hair and look great.  Like that".  
I was so completely jealous.  I have a lot of memories of Leah.  She was one of my greatest friends.  But I think that one stands out to me so vividly because of the confidence she had.  Do you remember high school?  How it was everyday trying to fit in and stick to what worked, because everyone and everything sucked.  That's how it was for me...and the fact that she had an entire room full of people--of high school kids watching and approving of her?  It was a pivotal moment, and I've always wished it would have been mine. And so proud of her for making it hers. 

Lora's my little sister.   Yes, she's an adult, and yes, she has a family of her own...but I always think of her that way, first.  She's always been stronger than me.  She's smart and she's stubborn, and she sticks with things that I always got bored with, and decided to quit. She loves animals, even though she's allergic to them.  It's hard to find a memory that's fitting to show you all I know and love about Lora.   
I have one that I remember so well, because I wish it would have been me.  Maybe that's why I have so many memories of stuff?  Because I wish that I could have been that cool or that kind or that beautiful at that certain moment?  Probably.  If that's the case, I'm okay with it.  Because these are women that have made me see so many possibilities for myself.  How much better I could be if I took these lessons and used them in my life.  ;)
Anyway, when I was a senior in high school, Lora was a freshman.  She started dating this guy from Sheridan, a town about 35 miles away.  He was Hot.  Seriously.  I was so completely jealous of her.  And he was totally into her!  I mean, how's this for a rotten sister?  I flirted with him shamelessly...and he only had eyes for Lora.  They met at a church dance, playing a game where the guys had to go pick a shoe, and then dance with the girl that it belonged to.  Jared had scoped her out and totally went for her shoe so he could dance with her.  Ugh, too perfect, right?  
I bet you're probably wondering why I chose this memory to share, as it makes me seem like a total beast.  But I think my reason was this....Jared made me see Lora in this different light.  Like, instead of just being my little sister that stole clothes out of my closet and had annoying friends, I began to see how beautiful she was.  How she was funny and fun...and we became closer.  I'm embarrassed that it took me something like that to make me see her, but I was pretty self-involved at that time.  Jared once told me that she was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen.  Definitely true.  

So that's the finish point for this round.  I'm actually having a lot of fun being able to tell my stories about friends and relatives...without having to have some sort of segue, (check it, Moriah!) first.  Until next time, ya'll.