Watching the flowers grow

February is over!  So happy about this.  It means so many great things:  Closer to getting my iPhone 4s, Jeff and Riley and Cole's birthdays, Easter, (maybe not exactly in that order)...but all good things.  I'm expecting some rain, possible snow, and various degrees of visible sun in the upcoming future.  And you know, that's exciting for me.  Because February is over.  

I'm ready for summer.  I'm embarrassed to say this, really.  I hate the heat.  And I don't enjoy yard work.  But I do love having the kids home.  And not having schedules.  I'm wanting a little more freedom, I guess.  Riley will be in middle school way too soon.  And I'm kind of stressing about how to be that mom that deals with/understands what it's like to be an adolescent; with dances, and boys and mean girls, and all that stuff.  I wish it were too soon to be worrying about it all, but she's experiencing some of it, already.  And I'm kind of heartbroken.  It's too much, sometimes.  Not just for me, obviously, but for her. She's already having to sign up for classes, and decide what she's going to specialize in.  It's all starting:  Spanish? Honors classes?  I want this upcoming summer to last forever.  And I'm not overly excited for my first baby to grow up and be a teenager.  And I'm so not ready for her to have all the teen problems that will break her heart, and most certainly mine.  Ugh.  Anyway, I think this is why I'm really focusing on my iPhone--avoidance.  I was trying to get a bit of cleaning done the other day, and came across all these picture discs that I'd forgotten all about.  It made me a little nostalgic.

Do you see this?  Where did that time go?  It seemed like Riley would just be my little sweet girl forever.  And it hasn't happened that way.  She's not a baby anymore.  She's still sweet, but not a baby.  And I think it's making me really face my mortality.  
This used to be me and my mom:

My Aunt Sharon took that photo when i was two-ish.  (I put the print through a filter, the original is much cleaner, but I kinda liked it grungy). I don't remember that time.  At all.  And it's disturbing to me, because this is what's in store for Riley--coming full circle to see the picture of her and me and thinking, "That was SOOOO long ago".  

 And then just look at my Bubbers.   I miss that little guy.  He was so snuggly, and heavy, and slobbery...it kind of makes my arms ache just looking at him.  Both in good and bad ways.  78% of his entire weight was in his head.  And I loved how cartoonish he constantly looked.  Now he's a big kid.  He's still sweet, and I love him so, but it's not acceptable to squeeze him like I used to.  And that hurts my heart a bit. 

Still super handsome, but not a baby, anymore. And his body caught up to his head. So I guess things for him are going well, and that's what's most important.  But you know me--I have to complain about everything. 
Sydney cracks me up all day everyday. This is my favorite age, where she says things that are completely classic and smart and hilarious.  And I was really worried that we were going to pass through this stage.  I'm so glad I get to be with her during the day. 
 I'm astounded by how sassy she's become.  I'll get upset with her, and yell, "Put. It. Down!" (for example) And then she'll reply with, "okay, okay....JEEEZ!" It cracks me up every time.  The other day I found her asleep in my bed.  That's a huge no-no.  Not because she can't snooze in my bed, but because I know that if she takes even the slightest nap, she'll NEVER go to sleep that night.  (Btw, she didn't drop until 2 am the next morning).  Anyway, upon trying to wake her up, I told her that if she didn't get up right then I'd push her out of my bed.  She grunted and tried to get deeper into my blankets.  I pulled them off and told her that she had to get up, NOW.  She turned to me, and said, "I can't.  I too snuggly, Mom".  

If only.  If only she and Riley and Cole were to stay that stage where they were constantly "too snuggly".  Because I truly love it, and it makes me feel validated.  I know I do important things as a mother.  But when the option of just sitting with your little ones and snuggling isn't really an option anymore?  Kind of a kick to the gut.  
Anyway, that's my life as of now.  Trying to get my kids to slow down.   Despite being a lazy person, it seems like I've got a crapload to do, and it makes me tired just thinking about it. So I have no idea what really busy people do.  (I'd ask Jeff, but then he'd spend forever explaining, and I just don't have that kind of time).  
So enjoy yourselves.  Love your babies.  If you don't have babies, love what makes you happy, and enjoy it.  Because things, the best things, are gone WAY too quickly.  
Peace out.