The beginning of April. When things were good.

*This was partially typed BEFORE Easter, BEFORE I got sick.  But I thought I wanted to keep it on the record...so I posted.  Enjoy, or don't.  Whateves.*


I feel like I need to post...something today.  Why, I'm not too sure.  But my heart is full.  I got the kids to school, and dropped off some plastic Easter eggs, or actually, Easter "cupcakes", for Sydney's Preschool class this Friday.  (I noticed that they really don't sell the plain eggs that I remember from my childhood.  Which is okay, because the different patterned eggs and shapes for Easter baskets sold today are way cute.  I just get a little distressed when I have to purchase something for someone else.  Will they be alright with Easter cupcakes, instead?  Am I botching everything?  Will the activity be based on the traditional egg, rather than a new generation's cupcake?  Hmm...so much to consider).   Anyway, it seems like accomplishing two things involving me entering a school before 8:30 am, gives me a sense of completion.  You know, knocks a few things off of my "To Do, but-I-really-don't-freaking-want-to", list.  Honestly, I've kind of been dreading this week.  Riley has her maturation program on Thursday and I've got to drag Sydney along, so I know that's going to be embarrassing at some point in time, and then I need to be to both Cole and Sydney's classes on Friday at the same time, so I'm still trying to figure that one out...and then Jeff's birthday is on Friday, and we are celebrating Cole's birthday on Saturday, because Sunday is Easter, and birthdays have got to be a big deal at our house.  Even though they are all squished together, we each demand our own special day.  And that's how it goes.  Fitting it all in is the tricky part. (This is one of my coping mechanisms).

This is the other:

(Seriously.  Sometimes just putting my tennis shoes on will make me go work out, and things look differently--less intense--when you're sweaty and tired).  Anyway, all this stuff that needs to be done, got me thinking.  I'm grateful to not have to juggle this, and an actual job.  Because obviously I couldn't handle it.  (Two things before 8:30 am, remember)?    Also, Sydney is in a preschool class that she totally loves.  And despite the fact that someone told her, "Boogers are delicious", (forcing me to keep constant vigil that she won't test the theory, because I've caught her doing it), she's learned amazing things.  Her social abilities are beyond what I had hoped they'd become--she used to be that kid that really didn't care what was happening around her...a very "Jeff" characteristic.  

But now she's all about asking if I'm okay, or recognizing happiness and sadness, and being scared.  So many things we all take for granted--and yet they are such important parts of development. I often wonder if Sydney's case is exactly life Jeff, where she honestly KNOWS that something is happening, she just really doesn't want to put forth the effort in figuring it out. That the whole social part of any problem is just way more work than she's willing to take on.   Jeff will engage when I tell him I need his input, but as far everything else goes, he's just not comfortable with the issues of others.  I know that I won't hear any gossip from him, which is probably good for me, as I'm kind of a gossip conduit.  But you see?  It's something that I've always had a hard time understanding where Jeff is concerned, and then Sydney seems to be the same way.   Apparently, it's nature vs. nurture.  She's helped me realize that some things are beyond my control, when it comes to my kids. I mean, those mothers that you're judging because their kids are complete monsters, and she's not beating them into submission?  Well, I have a little more empathy.  Sometimes different kids just respond to different ways of...everything.  I thought that I had a handle on letting my kids be diverse, but this has been a really hard lesson.  One I needed. 
Anyway, my son will be 9 on Sunday.  We will be celebrating his birthday on Saturday, because having your special day on a holiday, is pretty sucky.  As I'm sure a lot of you know.  We are changing that.