At Walmart. In the ONLY isle that doesn't have people in it--this is relevant because A) it's my favorite isle, (Dt. Mt. Dew is behind my butt), and B) it's kinda covert for me to take a picture of myself and not get mocked by people perusing the shelves. Because, that's totally what I'd do if I saw someone doing this. I'm waiting on the fine Walmart employees to change the oil in my car that seems to be gradually falling apart. Sad.
Anyway, I have time to think cause Syd's with Jeff, and the kids are at school, and I've already got the necessary groceries for the weekend. I've compiled a list of notes that I need to remember:
1. Don't wear my hair like this. I have a fivehead and it took me to now to figure it out.
2. When going to an auto place, like Checkers or Autozone, wear makeup, and leave kids at home. Smile, and be chatty. Customer service is better by like, 90%. (Even with said fivehead).
3. I'm a hypocrite. Especially when it comes to technology. If I can't afford something right away, it's certainly not a good or useful product. I.e. : Laptops--I scoffed about laptops until Jeff got one. Who needs one of those? Especially if they stay at home with the kids? And then I quickly found out that being jobless and addicted to facebook, email, blogging, and occasionally paying bills requires a laptop. Because, it's for sure I don't want to have to go all the way to the office to do these things. Also, I was anti-cell phone. True, this was like, six years ago, but still. I promised/swore that I wouldn't give in. Now, when I'm without my beloved Blackberry, I will stop what I'm doing, and even drive the necessary mileage it takes to retrieve it from my home. I'm that dependent and pathetic. However, I say this now, and I give full future permission as well....Anyone that sees me in Walmart, sporting a bluetooth headset and chatting away because I can't hold the phone to my ear while I'm in the cheese section, I will give 50 bucks. Because that is the day I am a true loser. And as a loser, I may as well give you my life savings, cause, what the Hell am I gonna do with it?
4. Don't ever run to the restroom leaving my 10 month old and previously mentioned laptop in the room together. Regardless of how many toys she's been supplied with, the movie she's watching, and the snacks she's eating, nothing good comes out of it. I lose all previously recorded information and gain a lot of different settings that I can't figure out.
5. When I help with Cole's class, be sure to wear perfume, deodorant, and chew gum. He informed me that the kids don't like it when helpers are "stinky". I passed the test today. Phew.
6. Lastly, remember to give Cole a kiss and a hug goodbye each time I help in his class. But not a kiss on the cheek...it needs to be on the head. He kinda walked me through it, but there was some awkwardness involved. He has people to impress, apparently. But not overly so.
K. I just had to type that stuff out...otherwise, I'd forget. And I'm thinking of you all, knowing you're at work and just needing something to make your Friday go by faster. You're welcome. Have a good weekend! (Oh, and fyi, my car's oil is changed, but now I gotta have it checked for emission problems....any reccommendations on a mechanic? I'm clueless).
8 comments:
So glad you remembered to wear deodarant to Coles class. Does it make you wonder who the stinky person was? It makes me wonder.
When you say "good mechanic" I can only assume you mean, "A mechanic that will pass me for emissions no matter how many lbs of co2 and poison my car spits into the air." Well, Rainy, I won't be an accomplice to KILLING MOTHER EARTH.
GOOD DAY.
i missed your last post! my list didn't update it. sorry for the lack of comment. so for the last post:
i love the person Riley is turning into. She is beyond sweet and seriously cool. i was such a loser at her age. i still pretty much am, but she knows what to do and say and she's 100% NOT awkward and Story just loves her!! And about Jeff, you have every right to be pissed. Its not fair how men just drop the weight with or without effort. Good for him, but he still sucks. :) You look fabulous by the way, your hard work has definitely paid off and you're totally a hot mom.
As for this post: i think your hair looks cute like that, i really do. Cole is so funny about how particular YOU must be when in his presence around his peers. He's so cute. Story loves him too! You've got the greatest, coolest kids!
Anyway, after that NOVEL, see you tomorrow!!
Dude, you totally do not have a five head. It is seriously the camera angle. Rainey & Walmart=synonymous Life-time love. Some things will never change. And Cole seriously cracks me up.
Whats a five head? Anyway, we too need a mechanic for the same problem. I will let you know if we find one. Cole's funny
Brandi, what I wonder about is how kids can smell a stinky person when some of them are pretty ripe, themselves. However, I still refuse to let a kid that stinks call ME stinky.
Kyle: You get off your self-righteous high horse. Killing Mother Earth is like, your most favorite pastime. And yeah, that's exactly what I meant, so maybe you can tell me you who use in code, or something.
Kass--Phew. I'd missed your comment sorely on my last post. For a minute, I thought we weren't friends any longer. But then you totally redeemed yourself.
Especially when you said I was a hot mom.
Moriah, don't you know how I ache to hate Walmart? I really wish I could embrace all my snobbery and put it into avoiding that place at all costs. But there's something about living a mile away from it, and being able to shop/eat/get stuff fixed/cleaned and so many other options, ANYTIME I WANT. So like the abused housewife that tries to cover her bruises, I find myself going back for more at least six times a week. No self control.
Amy, five head is when your forehead is like bigger than necessary. Big enough to land small aircrafts, and such. Like in my picture. If Bob doesn't know what to do about our car, I'll have to find someone. If that someone is good, I'll definitely pass it on. But I'm warning you now, I always find the guys that really aren't good, and charge me a lot more than the average.
Rainey, Have you seen the website Walmartpeople.com? Great stuff. I like walmart too. I like that I can go there in my puppy reindeer flannel pj pants and no one looks twice at me. But now I look for myself on walmartpeople.com
Leah, I do know Walmartpeople.com. I think you posted a link to it on your Facebook page, actually, and from there, I've been hooked. And I check for myself pictured on it, as well. Apparently, Utah isn't as popular as those Southern states. But I'm just using that as an excuse to take it to another level.
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