Stealing Kelli's post idea

So Kelli took this idea from US Weekly, and I love stuff like this, (Reading it about other people, I mean...not so much doing it), so I'm stealing this idea from Kelli.  And I'm encouraging everyone and anyone to do the same.  Cause I'll read it with great interest, fyi.  


25 things about me:

1.  I'm the oldest of four kids.  And though they are all grown and have their own lives and such, I still feel like I need to look out for them.  Old habits die hard, I guess.  However, the truth is, I was never a very good sister.  I was mean and impatient, and that was a huge reason I didn't really want to be a mom.  I love my siblings, and loved them then, but I wasn't kind, and I said a lot of things that I still regret to this day--not fond memories.  Luckily, my sisters and brother are forgiving people and my relationship with my kids isn't like the relationship I had with my siblings.  I really feel like having Jeff has helped me in that area, big time.  It's nice to have someone to keep you on your toes.  Maybe having siblings is some kind of trial run for one day having your own family?  


2.  I lean toward the left side of politics.  However, I do have some conservative views as well.  I have a hard time with people that continually blame all problems on the President, or Senators, or Congress--I feel like it shows no responsibility or imagination.  I don't fully believe any politicians, regardless of religion, or past, or heritage.  I feel like to be a successful politician, you have to be really slimy.  Otherwise, you would have gotten out of the game a long time ago.  And you also have to be a people-pleaser.  Because that's what a politician's life is, and that's what they are paid to do.  I also hate doing the reading and studying of political stances and opinions and whatever.  Because it always changes.  


3.  Sometimes I have panic attacks that Jeff, Riley, Cole, or Syd will be hurt or disappear.  It happens at nights, mostly.  Especially if I wake up and can't go back to sleep.  It's been a lot more frequent since I lost my dad.  

4.  This time of year is my favorite time.  Not just because it's the Holiday season, but from October to December is time period when Jeff and I first began dating/seeing each other exclusively/engaged. Um, in that order, and yes, that quickly.  It was quite a few years ago, but it seems like I can recall a lot of those feelings at this time of year.  Add in the factors of Riley, Cole, and Syd, and I have so much more than I could have imagined when I thought about what life would be with Jeff.  It's better than I imagined.  


5.  I love things that smell good.  I'm obsessed with smelling plug-ins, and candles, and oil and reed diffusers and anything that makes my home smell not like...people.  And I could stay in stores like Bath and Body Works for hours.  And buy everything they show me.  If I were rich, I'd buy that entire place.  


6.  I can't sleep without a body pillow and a fan.  Sleeping anywhere other than my own bed causes me great anxiety.  Almost to the point of making any attempts to be away from my home a night or two not worth it.  


7.  Speaking of anxiety, I used to believe that I was turning into a person more like my husband, in that I've gotten to the point where I just like to be home, and anything outside of my day-to-day routine causes me stress.  And I am now thinking it's because my anxiety has gotten out of control. Either that, or I AM just overly anti-social, like Jeff.  It's a toss-up. 

8.    I usually don't get scared watching movies.  But Quarantine, with Deb, from Dexter?  Scared the $h!* out of me.  I am freaked out by people becoming zombies or monsters through science-gone-wrong. 


9.  I am positively terrified of tape-worms.  One of the reasons I refuse to have a dog. 



10.  I wish everyday that I was skinny.  Somehow the idea of being skinny seems like it would solve every problem I ever had/have in my life.  


11.  My dream house is on sale here in Springville.  It's the house I have daydreamed that if I were a millionaire, I would have gone up to the door, and offered the owner a very large sum of money just to hand it over to me.  I'm sure it's way out of any conceivable price range Jeff and I will ever have.  So I refuse to check the price, because I know the truth will break my heart.  


12.  I love Christmas music.  Rather than being annoyed with it, like a lot of people, it makes me happy.  And when musical groups or artists that I regularly listen to put out a Christmas song, I take it as a personal victory.  Happy day for me. 


13. I have started to notice wrinkles around my eyes.  And it's kind of scary how quickly it's happened.  Not that it's bad, though.  They're mainly laugh lines.  I'm just surprised how one day I woke up and saw them.  This kind of freaks me out about how quickly time passes. 


14.  Before I met Jeff, I went to lunch with Keri one day.  And when I got into her silver Honda, she had like, three Tori Amos CDs on her passenger side floor.  I said something about loving Tori Amos, and then she told me that the CDs weren't hers, they were her brother's.  In that instant, I was interested in her brother, whom I later found out was Jeff.  I always said that if I'd ever found a guy that loved Tori the way I did, that would be it.  And I was right.  


15.  There is nothing more fun for me to buy than lip gloss.  I couldn't even tell you how many tubes/sticks/pots I have in my room, my purse, my car...you get the idea.  


16.  I can't go into Video rental places...or DVD rentals...whatever they're called now.  They cause me so much anxiety I feel like I want to barf.  Or throw all the stuff to the ground.  I don't know why, but I start out with a headache as soon as I walk through the door, and hit complete crazy town about six minutes later.  Redbox is a lifesaver for me. 



17.  I'm always amazed when I watch The Office at my feelings for Michael.  I find it confusing that I can absolutely detest someone and be embarrassed by them, and feel sorry for them, all at once.  But I'm also relieved that I can feel such a wide range of emotions during a prime-time television show.  Say what you will, but The Office makes me feel.

18.  Music can make anything better. However, I really despise any type of "Christian Rock", by any artist.  I can't get over the lameness of it. 


19.  Jeff only works two days a week.  Well, technically he works five days a week, but he only goes into the office two days.  And those are the worst days of my week.  Honestly, I wasn't sure how it would be, having him home so often...especially since I'd become so accustomed to him being gone.  At first it was an adjustment.  Now I absolutely hate Tuesdays and Thursdays.  I feel like he now has to stay at PMI forever, because if he went back to a "regular" work schedule, I'd die.  

20.   I have two friends that live in my neighborhood.  In the summer we go walking at nights, or just get together to have our kids play, or watch movies.  We all have kids in various stages and we are all alike in our personal belief systems and just seem to laugh a lot when we're together.  Also, I can be really honest with them, and I don't feel judged.  It's nice, because that is kind of rare, I think.  

21.  I hate when people refer to themselves in the third person.  Rainey doesn't like that.  Not at all.  See how creepy that is?


22.  In my dreams, I am Hi. Larious.  Seriously.  Jeff pointed out that this is only in my dreams, but when I wake up in the middle of the night, wondering how I got to be so witty and comical while comatose, I sometimes even laugh aloud.  Then I really try to remember what it is that I said, and wait all the next day to use it in context.  Mostly I don't ever get the chance...but when I do?  That's a good day, my friends.  


23.  Sometimes I think that if I could get away with staying the entire day in my bed, I would.  Sometimes I actually try it.  And then I have to pee.  And from there, all Hell breaks loose, so by now I should realize that it is in fact, an impossibility.  But every Saturday, I wonder if it will be "the day". 



24.  When I can help someone...really help them, it makes me happy.  Perhaps that is the "spirit of service" everyone talks about.  However, when people expect me to help them, like, it's my job or something?  It makes me think up any excuse to get out of it.  And I end up resenting it.  And then I find ways to avoid those people and their--demands, I should say--from then on.  
On the other hand, when I can't help someone that really needs it, my heart breaks a little.  And it can make me sad for days, because there is nothing I can do, and I feel helpless.



25.  I am fiercely protective of my family.  For the trash that I talk and the opinions I have, it may not seem like it...but I am.  I guess the main thing that I've learned as I've grown older, is that no one is perfect, or even close.  And we say things that imply that we know how to make others perfect, when that isn't the case, at all.  So to friends and family that wonder?  You're loved.  Maybe I don't show it the way that I should.  Maybe I can't right now.  Maybe I have a lot of things inside that don't make any sense or make too much sense, that I'm trying to work out, before I explode and say hurtful things that I don't really mean.  I have come to a different conclusion of what family is...very different than what I had thought it was for a long time.  And I'm still working on that conclusion.  I'm still figuring out where I fit in.  So I ask for time and patience, but I don't demand it.  If there are some that can't understand the reasoning behind my actions, that's okay, and I say, I don't expect to be understood.  But if you could try to respect my feelings,  however different and confusing they are, I will try to respect yours.  Thanks, and much love.