An update. Kinda.

Fyi:  This started out in my last comment section, but I realized it's a post in itself.  Also, those of the male gender may want to skip it, as I'm going to say what I'm thinking...and sometimes it isn't pretty.
So you get more of the story of "me".  YOU'RRRRRRE WELLLLLLCOME! Okay. Honestly, I didn't expect a lot of response.  I was putting stuff out there, yeah, but with the half-hope that SOMEONE would give me a little hint as to how to stop being self-absorbed.  However, I was wrong.  You all came through.  This is not one of my strong points(surprise!)--talking about how I let my sickness?  Disability?  Mental shortcomings?  Get the best of me.  After twenty five years of coming to terms with this, (maybe more? I can remember this as far back as eight years old...), it's still a bummer to admit sometimes it feels stronger than I am.  Anyway, you all came through.  Thank you. I honestly took advice--I was THAT desperate.  ;)  And I thought I would give you an update.  Firstly, despite every night this week coming up with an excuse NOT to go jogging, I did it anyway.  (Still feel massively bloated, but my head is clearer, and that's a plus...maybe it's PMS?  Is it possible to have PMS three out of the four weeks in a month?  I'm totally serious).  Second, I know I need to make the dreaded doctor's appt. and get the general check up.  Probably get all my annoying bits checked and talked about...and I've actually been putting this off since I last saw the doctor for a personal appointment.  I believe it was my six week checkup after Syd was born.  What? Did I hear someone rolling their eyes?
Third, I did some service.  I honestly did.  I made a couple meals, and some banana bread and spread my love with food--and I honestly felt better.  It made me feel appreciated and validated.  Luckily, I wasn't there to see them actually EAT anything I made, because that easily could have ruined everything.  But they were grateful, and it made me feel grateful to be able to make them happy until digestion.
And lastly, I've been crafting...not good crafting, cause I don't do that.  But trying to make stuff.  I had an idea to make little owls for the kids.  Basically because I love owls, and they don't have anything that I've ever made for them.  So I got a pattern and have been putting them together at nights.  I won't say I've gotten better.  Sometimes I have an owl that turns out cute.  But mainly they all have severe physical deformities.  Jeff said I should make little owl families, like ours, for each kid...so that's two adults, two kids, and a baby owl.  It was a great idea, and then I realized it was a lot more work than I had intended.  I just hope the kids don't hate them to my face. I'll try to make the packaging look good--they'll each be in little nests with their babies--maybe that will make them look more appealing? If they get them under the Christmas tree, smile and say, "Oh, that's cute", and then hide them in their rooms where they can hopefully be forgotten about?  I'll be just fine.  Reach for the crafty stars--that's how I do.

So there.  That's not all, it seems like my kiddos have been more in tune to me needing a little extra response time and nap time, and basically, time to be selfish.  But they've given it to me, and I really appreciate it.  Things are looking up.  I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay.  I'm better than okay.
October is going to be better.  And the weather is supposed to be cooler.  And I'm going to be a zombie in a race, and go to Halloween parties and help at carnivals, and the list goes on and on.  And Sydney is going to get her check up that tells us where she'll be placed after she turns three...and I decided that whatever the outcome, it will be difficult to hear.  But we'll all give it a try.
See?  All this stuff was really weighing on me before, but now it seems a lot easier.  So, thanks again.  Here's to a better week!  After this weekend, anyway.