PISSED.

This will not be a nice post. I'm not feeling nice. I'm feeling like I could take a certain someone by the hair and twirl them around and around in the motion of an old-fashioned sprinkler. For those of you that are easily offended, and may just disagree with what I will be saying because it's going to be crass and trashy...just skip this post and go look at someone else's blog. You may just want to anyway because this is will take an incredible amount of time, as well. But I'm documenting this, and it's gonna be very involved, cause I'm not holding back.

Today I went to a "mandatory meeting" at Cherry Creek School. Apparently I have neglected to take the supposed THREE letters they sent me seriously, and "most-likely just as many" phone calls that they've made, telling me they need me to be there or face dire consequences. Between you and me, I never received said letters. Or phone calls. In fact, I have proof because I have all my phone records. However, it's my word against theirs as far as the letters go. And guess what? They're not believing me. It's been a craptastic day, but a five hour nap, and some severe emotional over-eating later, I'm ready to talk about it.

Let me first admit that I'm not keen on all the new laws they've passed within the last year on Public Education here in Utah. I guess they put an insert in the yearly manual they send each child's parents in July, before the school year starts. But, after reading it two years in a row, I had memorized all the words of wisdom therein such as: "Don't drop your children off at the North entrance, as it's a busy intersection without a cross walk", or "Please be prompt in picking children up after school, as it's a liability for both the school and the parents should children be left at the building unattended". So I naturally thought that it was old hat--that despite there would be some new days off during the year, the information would pretty much be the same, and mainly I'd keep it around for reference. It's not like they put, "PLEASE READ IN ITS ENTIRETY, AS NEW LAWS THAT WILL AFFECT YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN HAVE BEEN PUT INTO PLACE". And maybe that's me being ignorant, but I think that it would have been beneficial to all if they would have done that.

Yesterday I received a call from the school. It was a message from a member of the school district in charge of attendance, and the reason she was calling was that I had failed to show to three previous mandatory meetings regarding the attendance of my children. They have missed 15 days of school, ten of which were unexcused absences. Should I miss the meeting the next morning at 9:30 a.m., my case will be handed over to the state and from there, I could face a monetary fine, or jail time. WTF?
Needless to say, I called right back. This is when I was told that I could have avoided the whole involvement of the school district, if I would have just shown up when I received the notes I was supposedly sent. I expressed my concern about NOT receiving anyTHING regarding any of this, and was politely contradicted, because certainly the school system wouldn't make the mistake of not telling me about each individual meeting. The weird thing is...when someone tells me in a phone message that I'm such a crap mom that there's a possibility that I'll need to do some jail time, I'll call back. And I'd remember if someone wrote that to me in a letter. I'm quirky that way.
So I told her that I'd for sure be there, because though I had better things to do, going to court instead wasn't a preferable option for me.
So today I showed up at five minutes till. I saw that including myself, there were about four other adults waiting to attend this meeting as well. This made me feel better because I had a little solidarity--apparently I'm not the only mother in the entire school that just "doesn't take her children to school for funsies".
The principal was the conductor of the meeting. He specified that the meeting taking place was "by Law", mandatory. And he reiterated that about twelve times. He apologized to all of us, saying that though attendance is important, he doesn't necessarily agree with the way this new law is being carried out. So, the law is this: Children are not to have more than 5 unexcused absences a YEAR. If they are sick, they need a doctor's note. If they are going on vacation, it needs to be verified by the principle as to whether it's excused or not. If there is a family emergency, the school MUST know. The child's teacher, the principal, and the office MUST know, so as to be sure that it will be excused. The same goes for if there are extenuating circumstances within the family, or some sort of problems with addiction that may encumber attendance. When a child is sick, you need to call AND personally talk to someone within two days of the illness and missed day, or else an excused absence isn't possible. This is to save your own ass, as things, information, can get lost, and then it's just your word against theirs. Though they aren't having any problems in school, and their report cards and teachers confirm this, should Riley or Cole accumulate one more unexcused absence this year, I will need to attend court, pay a 50.00 fine for each kid, and be put on a probationary thing where I have to check in with some kind of social worker every two weeks, explaining what my schedule is like, how we are doing, and whether or not I'm getting my children to school on time or just there, period.

So, let me explain WHY my children have missed this much school. But first off, let me also say that it used to be that 15 unexcused days a semester was the limit...and now it's five days the entire year. My kids get sick. CONSTANTLY. Now, I know why. When Riley tells me, at least once a month, about someone puking at their desk, I now get it. Everyone is so FREAKING paranoid with this new law, that they will send their kids to school regardless of whether or not they are sick. My baby got RSV because my kids brought it home from other kids. If Riley or Cole are snotty and continually coughing, I would keep them home. And the same if they had a fever. I thought by doing this I was being a good parent. And guess what? It would happen often--I've posted about the woes of having continually sick kids. It's not fun. Would I prefer a janitor to clean up my kid's vomit rather than myself? Yeah, honestly I would. I just thought that that particular task was my job as a mother; not the job of the school. But now, I've been forced to re-evaluate my previous ideas of what a Mother's job is. And now I'll be sending my children to school whether or not they're sick or contagious. Because I don't want to go to court. I don't want to be fined 1000 dollars per child and up to two months of jail time because I didn't feel right about sending them out to infect other kids. And what kind of an effing Nazi law is this that won't allow me the decision making rights of whether or not to send my kids to school? Regardless of grades, regardless of how they act towards their teachers and classmates, it's all about whether or not they are THERE. That's B.S. in it's truest form. A big, reeking pile of it. Honestly? I feel pretty violated. It's hard enough for me when I feel like my mothering is being questioned. However, when it's not just questioned, but I'm punished for it? I feel like all my rights are being ripped out from under me.

For those of you that don't know, Jeff and I are taking the kids to Vegas all next week. We've had it planned for the last two months. Made reservations. This is the first vacation as a family that we've ever had. We've never been able to before, as we never had the means or the time. Not that we have a lot of either right now--we're just going to Vegas for heaven's sake. But we are doing it as a family, and I was so excited for this. After the meeting, I had to explain my "situation" to the principal, so he could tell me whether or not it would be excused. I'd already arranged for the kid's homework and such while we were gone, but that wasn't enough. The principal had to give me the okay. I'm thankful that he's not a prick...otherwise, we would have had to cancel. However, I didn't get out of an uncomfortable pause and a look that kinda said, "you do realize you're making it harder on your children, don't you?"

So that's what we now deal with as parents. It's not just the fear of drugs or friends that are bad influences or bullies anymore. It's also the possibility of the school taking your concern for your children's health as a sign of vigilantism toward their attendance.
Regardless, I'm going to go to Vegas with Jeff and my babies. And we are going to enjoy an entire week of shopping and swimming, and riding roller coasters and visiting aquariums and probably a little bit of gambling, too. All the while knowing that school is going on WITHOUT them. And I refuse to let them make me feel guilty. Because my kids are smart and they are nice and healthy...and they'll have their homework done before we leave early Monday morning. But in all honesty, is this fair? I realize there are circumstances where some kids DON'T get to school. Some parents are the type where they don't give a flying eff. But does that make it right to "fix" that problem in this way? Does it make any sense that I'm so pissed? Just asking.