200th post

This is my 200th post.  And it blows.  The people that were buying our home didn't get the loan they needed, and now we are on the market again.  That's not the sad part.  The sad part is, we won't be able to get the house that I've been daydreaming about for the last week.  Copper kitchen sink?  Stone tile and hardwood floors?  Claw footed bathtub?  All those things are gone.  GONE.  AAAAAARRRRGGGHHH!!!! I know I shouldn't have gotten all worked up about it.  But I did.  I knew this whole thing was fragile and "iffy".  But then I was also making mental interior decisions and such each night...EVERY night, while I should have been trying to sleep.
I hate being dependent on other people.  This whole process is infuriating.  I mean, it's like being in science class.  And being partnered up with the dumb kid that could give an absolute crap about the grade that you'll be getting.  Yet, you have to work with them, because a huge part of the grade is the whole PARTNERSHIP factor.  I hated that in school.  I hated having to depend on others for my end result.  And yet, here it is again.  Anyway, that's where we are right now.  I'm mad and I'm bummed, and I just want to wallow in my own self-pity.  So I had to get that out of my system before Riley wakes up...and she'll have turned 10.  In a few hours she'll be up, and she'll want me to be happy on her big day.  So I'm going to bed ticked, and since I don't have a house to dream-decorate, maybe I'll get some sleep. And then I'll be ready to have fun and focus on Riley and what she wants to do.