Rock, Flag, and Eagle.

Warning: This is one of my rants...and I'm working solely from my opinion.

I've been trying to download youtube videos this morning. And because I'm grossly un-intelligent, it hasn't worked. Not once. But I've been thinking about what "America means to me", lately. I'm pretty sure it's just all the election crap, and so on and so forth....I've already told you how I feel about that. And I really think that Charlie's "America Song" from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia, about sums it up. (I recommend you go to youtube and watch it, if it's not something you've seen. It's not too long by any means, and it was all improv, so even that much more impressive). Not that I don't appreciate my freedoms, my opportunities, my chances that I have as a member of this great country. I just get tired of the those people that that TELL me I have to appreciate it, love it, wear it on my shirt, etc. You know? I feel like I can be grateful for all the stuff I'm grateful for, and not have to advertise it each and everyday.
This does not mean that I'm out there, burning flags, spitting on American soldiers, or people that have come to this country for a better life, or trying to invest money to buy my own compound one day--one where I make my OWN laws and such. I mean, I'm not adverse to everything, I'm just not on the bandwagon, either.
Also, and here's where I get on my soapbox, I feel like most that are "Highly Patriotic" are usually also highly trashy. Eww...I'm gonna feel a blast of heat on that one, aren't I? But I do. I often think back to the movie, Borat. The Rodeo part. Does anyone remember that scene? I still think about how sick I felt in my stomach to see an angry mob form so quickly...with nothing more to egg them on than someone spouting nonsense. And really all he had to do to get everyone worked up was starting out with some rendition of : "God Bless the USA." Or how about the forwarded emails that I always get from questionable acquaintances? Some of them are downright terrible...racist and supremest and completely questionable, yet you put some sparkly red white and blue in the background, tell people they'll be poor if they don't send it to ten others, and you're bound to see it at least twice. (Let me just say that although some of you that read this blog have sent forwards, I'm not talking about any of you).
I do want to say that I have my brother-in-law, and he's very patriotic...but not in the previously described way. In the way that I wish most were...willing to look up facts, and read about policies, and honestly find the true details of "what's up". (Another aspect of his enjoyment of Law). Personally, I'm not that invested, so I guess I can be filed under the crappy American category. But I'm okay here. Just know that I am grateful for the advantages that I have, and that my children have. I feel like it's not a perfect system by any means, but when I look at what others deal with, I know that I am truly lucky and privileged. And I have tons of chances and possibilities, and that, in itself, is enough for me to have gratitude towards people that really do take matters into their hands for the bettering of our lives. So there. That's my take on it. It's wishy-washy, yeah....but I think there's too much corruption one way or the other to fully convert myself. Anyhoo, let me know what you think. And if it differs from me, that's more than okay. You never bring Religion or Politics to the table, as they say, and I went there, so I expect some drastic differences.

For the sake of changes...

I'm done looking at my last post and the explanations therein. However, I don't really have anything that is worth talking about lately. This past week was a good one. I am now at seven and a half months of pregnancy. This makes me happy, though I'm continually uncomfortable. Time has seemed to speed up with the end of summer and that's much appreciated.
My sister, Muffy took pictures of me on Saturday, because she is a fabulous photographer, and convinced me that it would be a good idea to document this pregnancy, as it's my last. I will say that what she showed me was really impressive. I was pleased with her lenses, her angles, the way she had me pose...but it's always hard for me to be non-judgemental when it comes to photos of myself. I mean, yes, I will post pictures of me, however, there are always a million flaws that I can point out to you, in each one. Not that I think Muff's picture taking skills have any flaws--I don't, at all. It's just looking at myself, I always have these thoughts like, "I wish I didn't have....or when I turn my face that way I didn't know I had that many wrinkles....or, are my eyes and ears really that uneven?" I believe it's just a case of me being my biggest critic...but it's always been hard to say, "Wow. I am HOT". This time, though, as I try to get past all my insecurities, I have to admit she did an excellent job. So, I'm excited to see the other pictures she has for me. She's already posted one, it's on her blog. (You can find it in my links section). I wanted to do some shameless advertising, because I think she's really talented, and should anyone need any type of family, children's, or special occasion photography, she's the girl to do it. To all the five people that read this blog, tell your friends. (Oh, and for more proof of her professional skills, her website is desistodigitals.com ).
Anyway, I think that's all for tonight. I'll most likely come up with something later, but I'm getting tired. I'm constantly amazed at the talents that others have, so I feel like they need to be shared. If anyone has questions, let me know. Also, when I do have Sydney, Muff will be the one that does most of my early documentation. So be sure to come back and view my little sister's abundance of talent. Goodnight all.

Adjustment to my "stuff I'm thinking about" post.

So I have to make a couple changes to number #5 on my previous post. This saddens me. You all know that I'm pretty opinionated about what I will and wont watch, and I have been waiting SO long for True Blood to come out. However, I think I seriously underestimated the graphic nature of an HBO show.
Jeff and I watched the first episode last night, and I was soooo devastated. Let me repeat that I have read all of Charlaine Harris's Sookie Stackhouse novels, and loved each and every one. (Actually, the beginning ones were better, the later ones are products of an increasingly busy author that currently writes about six different series, getting one novel out each year, of each said series. So the last, say, two....seemed a bit rushed). Anyhoo, they are mainly mystery, with comedy and romance,VAMPIRES and other creepies, and sex....and the sex never bothered me. I guess I'm too easily disturbed visually, because reading about it, doesn't give me the heebie-jeebies...it's not as....distasteful. My idea of a sex scene in a movie that's actually attractive, as an example, is the scene in Reality Bites where Winona Ryder and Ethan Hawke FINALLY get together...and all the jiggly, hairy, and questionable parts are covered. Not so for the first episode of True Blood. There are a few scenes in which as I saw them I was thinking....I gotta cover all my bases and say on my next post that I DON'T RECOMMEND this show to anyone. And that was just a couple scenes, as the other ones were still questionable, but not as disturbing. I want to save myself the embarrassment of having crowed about something that I had serious high hopes for...and was left uncomfortably mortified. So, anyway, there you are. I TAKE IT BAAAAACK. This is one of those times that I'm banking on my ridiculous fetish for vampires being something that normal, well adjusted people just don't share.
Now, that being said, I'll probably continue to watch this series, because like I said, I am neither normal, nor overly well-adjusted, but I will do so with the fast forward button in grip the entire time. Sadly, it will not be part of Jeff and my beautiful collection of TV on DVD...because even though I'm going to be honest and say that I will probably watch it, I won't advertise it or endorse it, as people will then know I'm a dirty pervert. Which I'm really not, I don't think, but I can't pull everyone aside and explain that, "I just fast forward through the baaad parts." I'm still hoping that as with a lot of shows, it has to push the envelope and raise the shock value the first couple of episodes, just to get ratings and a following. If not, I'm thinking the being disturbed part far outweighs my love for Ms. Sookie Stackhouse, as an inherently good person in an ever increasingly shady world. (Stuff like this is fascinating to me). So, I'll keep you informed, as I'm sure that you're all, Oh-so-interested. But at the very least, I just had to warn you. That is all.

Overheard:

Jeff Picks the kids up after school on Mondays and Fridays. Today this was the backseat conversation. He shared it with me, when they got home.


Cole: "So, Riley. What's the problem with the boy in the white shirt?"

Riley: Pause. "It's because he's in love with me."

Cole: "I don't get it."

Stuff I've been thinking about.

Okay, so I'm not a really deep person by any means. But a few things have been crossing my mind, lately. I'm thinking that they are completely useless to you, the reader, but as a blog addict, I would rather read about a lot of useless stuff, than nothing at all. So, here it goes:

1. When I am having a food craving,I MUST eat that particular food. No matter what. Otherwise I will sit and obsess and nothing will taste good or satisfy me, until I've eaten what I've been craving. (This never happens unless I'm pregnant...it's something Jeff never believes, until I show him how serious I am by throwing the ultimate fit).

2. The cooler the weather gets, the happier I become. These past few days have been pure bliss...and I have never been so ready for summer to be over. I've actually gone outside, and enjoyed it for the first time since April.

3. My children are smart and funny. They are content to be themselves, and are fully OK with who they are. This makes me beyond happy, as it's taken me up till now to be kind of okay with who I am.

4. It is mostly due to Jeff that my kids and I are as well adjusted and content with ourselves as we are. He's encouraged us to try and do whatever we like, and are interested in. I am easily affected by other's judgements, and criticisms, but Jeff isn't at all, and he's always there to encourage our creativity and differences; what's best for us as individuals. He lets us know that we're always loved, even if we aren't understood. Though he's quiet and chooses to remain in the background, he's the strength of our family.

5. The show, True Blood is going to be my new Buffy and Angel. (Not a replacement, mind you, as I still have mad devotion to Joss Whedon, I'm just saying it's going to be a new show that will rock the genre). I've read all the books, seen the trailers, and am convinced, CONVINCED that it's going to be freaking awesome.

6. Sydney is going to be just as different from Riley and Cole as they are from each other. But that she's lucky...because they want her to get here so much. Also, that she's lucky to have them for siblings. She will be a very spoiled, very catered-to, little girl.

7. Diet Code Red Mountain Dew could just be my new favorite beverage. If I could drink it all day long, and not feel guilty about pickling Sydney's brain more than I have....I would.

8. Angelina Jolie is looking haggard to me. It goes to show that no matter how much money you have, six kids will take the youth out of anyone. Also, I don't understand why everyone says she's such a fabulous mom. I think anyone could do a great job if they had round the clock nannies that could help keep the kids in check. Whenever she's in public, she only has one or two kids with her. Call me, or show me pictures when Angelina has to run to the grocery store, and take care of all the children at the same time. That would convince me she's a pro. Until then, I'm unconvinced.

9. I am accepting of the white-trashiness in my nature. I will be the first to admit that I'm not overly intelligent, or experienced...however, I'm real. And I'm really opinionated on stuff I usually know nothing about. Ask Jeff.

10. I have a lot of anger issues. A lot. I'm trying to deal with them, and overcome them, but it's taking a ton of time and energy. I've finally decided to take a stand, and make choices that will alleviate my anger, and avoid situations that I know will aggravate it even more. This is working for me, a little. I still have my days where I backslide, or I'm not as careful about my avoidance technique, but for the most part, things are looking up.

11. I'm so sick of political BS that I want to gouge out my eyes and personally pop my own eardrums. I love Jon Stewart, in that he's the only one that hasn't thrown up his hands at all the flip-flopping, but instead works harder to go through what I'm sure are very painful political volleys from candidates, reporters, supporters, etc., and prove that no one has a valid point, ever. If they do, they'll change it four or five times down the road. This is the way I do politics, and it disgusts me. I take a stand on something and then get so tired of all the crap that is involved in taking a stand that I give up a short while later. THIS IS WHY I AM NOT A POLITICAL PERSON. I understand this way is wrong. Apparently though, it's not wrong enough, because every political campaign seems to have tons of people willing to do this over and over, and ruin their possible established credibility.

12. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMORROW, SEPT.6, TO MORIAH LOVE. I've been thinking about this all week, sending you good vibes, and hoping that you'll be having a good one. Also, I will try to call you tomorrow, but if you're too busy partying the way you fabulous, fancy, island dwellers do, I'll totally understand.

13. I keep having this dream where my teeth are literally rotting out of my head. I don't know what this means. Yes, I brush my teeth, so I'm not too concerned it will actually happen, however, why does this happen over and over?

14. I'm FINALLY getting to the point of liking my hair. The mullet-ness is growing out, and it's a color I can live with--less red and green and more dark brown. I'm not completely happy, but I don't feel the literal tears when I look at myself anymore, so, that's a bonus.

15. My sisters Muff and Kelli and I are going to the After Thanksgiving Day Sales, together. (I take these VERY seriously, and it's one of my most favorite days of the year). I realize that this is a long ways away, but I daydream about what TV on DVDs I will be on the prowl for. And I wonder if I will be able to drive those electronic old/fat people carts at each store, as that day will be my REAL due date, and I have to keep Sydney where she's at until December first, for insurance reasons.

16. Speaking of TV on DVD, next Tuesday It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, season three, will be released. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it will be an affordable price. (UNLIKE the fourth season of The Office that's only half a season, yet that didn't cut it's retail cost in any way...this is something that really pisses me off). Anyway, this season has my most favorite, most hilarious, and most terrible episode on it: Dee dates a Retarded Person. It's completely un-PC and I will go to Hell by loving it so much. But it will be worth it. (Perhaps I think about TV way too frequently).

17. I have a severe crush on Shia Lebouf. Does that make me a creepy old lady? Probably. Would he be interested in me, a middle-aged pregnant woman? Probably not. (I don't think about him all the time, mind you, it's just that he's been in all these movies I've watched lately).

18. I'm worried that I won't fit into any of my clothes after I have Sydney. Could this be the baby that does irreparable damage to my body? I know, this is probably my most embarrassing thought, because it's so shallow and self-absorbed. But, it's a big one. Pretty soon the stretch marks will begin inching their way up my belly and other places....and then....well, then it's just a lot of hard work and keeping my fingers crossed.

So there they are. It's not a lot of overly important stuff, but it's what my mind has been touching on as of late. So feel free to let me know what you think about...perhaps I'll be embarrassed at how simple my range of thought really is...or more embarrassed, anyway.

Labor Day Weekend

I have to post a lot of pictures. This last one was Cole playing with my phone, and it wasn't blurred...and when he was done, said, "You look GREAAAAT mom!" like it was unbelievable, so I had to put it up. This past weekend was nice because it started out on Friday. Jeff didn't work, as is the new work schedule, and so while he slept, I got up and walked with my friend Liz. Which was quite early. (I might add that because of his new job, I now can't walk in the mornings. Yet, Jeff's Wednesday night racquetball dates are still on...interesting, isn't it? So now, walking is limited to the days of the week that Jeff has off. And let me say, it's obvious in my butt and legs that I'm just not putting in the miles anymore. So, when I'm tipping the scales at 800lbs., and Jeff wants to leave me because I'm demanding he make me more bacon as I lay solo on our king-size bed because it's now the place I stay permanently, please remember and remind him, this is all his fault). Anyway, after our walk, I came home and didn't have to wake the kids for another hour...but they were already up--as it was the Friday that they got their allowance toys. So they played for a while and I made breakfast, and then I took Riley to school. Friday went by quite well...Jeff had a problem when he went to pick up the kids--Cole was missing again, as his teacher had taken him to the office. (I'm hoping this doesn't become a thing that he does).
Saturday came along and all was good. I got a call from Kelli, telling me my Carebear that she was knitting me was done. I had to go get it and drop off a couple seasons of LOST, as she and my nieces were having a marathon this weekend. Now, originally I asked Kelli to make me a grumpy bear. She timidly asked Jeff if I would be offended if instead she made me a "Bi-polar" bear. She didn't want me to be offended as it was an obviously play on my mental instability. I, of course, have stepped up to this personal snafu, so, I was on board. And might I say, isn't it completely fabulous? She came up with the idea, the colors, all by herself. Not to mention the knitting. I love, love, LOVE it. Riley and Cole fully expected that I would share with them, because that's what mom's do. However, they were a little thrown when I told them that this particular toy is just for me, and I didn't want their sticky, stinky fingers on it. I said it a bit nicer than that, but the point was put across. Jeff started to work on our living room. He's been putting up shelves for our ever-increasing media. He continued that through Sunday, and now though our house is still in disarray, he's really succeeded in making our home look more like a home rather than a dorm room. And by that I mean, he's done a great job and I'm really liking what he's done.
So Monday, we were invited to a BBQ at my in-laws house. Not only would there be fine food, but my brothers-in-law and their band would be performing, so you know, we had to be there. Unfortunately, I've got a cold, so I was contemplating the possibility of staying home while Jeff and the kids went. But then I knew I'd be missing out on a lot if I didn't go, so I dragged my ginormous butt out, and I'm really glad I did. I'm sure there will be blogs all over that will have the same pictures as I've taken, but you'll have to bear with me.
Big thanks to Bob and Maida for great burgers and hot dogs and providing the gathering place. And the rest of the Andersons, Coplens, Hiatts, Stevensons, Miles's and Murrays for side dishes and great company. Afterwards it was time to go watch the musical entertainment and we watched my nieces and nephew perform first, as they've put together a band this year. Quite impressive. Jessica was lead vocals, Brittany and Tiffany were on guitar and Austin was on drums. (Sorry Tiff, I couldn't get a picture of you, that dang tree umbrella was in the way). I meant to tell them all great job, but I had crying issues between Cole and Maggie that were ongoing. I think they just found out that they are the same age, and that being in Kindergarten at the same time was a bonding experience for them. So they really enjoyed playing together, but both are a bit sensitive and kept hurting each others feelings, and then having to make up.
Then next up were the brothers -in -law and nephew. Kyle-singing and on bass, Kory was lead guitar and back-up vocals, and Brandon on the drums made up the main Labor Day event. They didn't disappoint with about six songs plus an encore. There was even a complete bonus when my nephew Andy got up and started to dance, simply because he was feeling it. I love it when kids dance, because there is no self conciousness invovled...the music moves them, and they are but slaves to the rhythm. To me, it tells you that the music is good. One of the highest compliments imaginable. (I could have miss-counted songs because of the previous mentioned problems with Cole and Maggie, so if that's the case, my apologies). I'm always amazed at all this hidden talent. I shouldn't be, because Jeff amazes me all the time with what he can do. I have like, two things that I'm really good at, and from there, my expertise is very limited. So when I see all these quiet, shy-seeming people whip out the big guns, I can't help but be so impressed. So, great job, guys. I'm already anticipating the next show--perhaps next Labor Day? Or possibly the Halloween Party? I'm encouraging you all to shake things up, schedule-wise--just for my personal entertainment, if nothing else. After the encore, we all kind of sat around and visited. I looked around the family there, and noticed that there are quite a few new babies, and expected ones. This is kind of odd to me, because it's like an entirely new generation of family is cropping up, and this time I feel so old. I know a lot of people my age aren't even having children yet, or they are just starting, but this is Utah, and Jeff and I are starting over...it's just weird. Sydney will have all these cousins in her age group, and it doesn't seem like it should be that way. I'm not complaining, mind you, just a bit of a reflection, I guess. However, this DOES lead me to another fabulous thing that happened simply because of my talented sisters-in-law. Kassie made me some blocks for our little Sydney Joy...and I love them. (Yet another thing I refused to share with Riley and Cole, and I'm considered an awful mother because of it). I first saw her post pictures of some that she made for her little girl that's due just about the same time as Sydney. I told her how much I loved them, and she just offered to make me some. How could I refuse? I mean, seriously. They look so great in Sydney's room, too. Yet another expample of things these people can do, and do greatly. It makes me jealous, however, it also makes me content to be lazy....because they're so great to let me enjoy the benefits of their hard work, too. That being said, I really like this system, and am content to keep the status quo, so no one needs to get the idea to try to teach me how to do stuff, or make me figure it out myself. Because that's just not as rewarding to me, just for your information.
Anyway, thanks to everyone for the food, the entertainment, and the gifts. It made my weekend very satisfying and memorable. I really wouldn't mind this turning into tradition...weekly tradition. Seriously, I'm up for it.

Empty Nest part two.

I dropped Cole off at school. His teacher wouldn't make eye contact, but this is understandable, as I try to avoid crazies, stinky, and/or turrets syndrome victims, as well. On the way there, Cole was unusually quiet...I decided to turn the radio off and give him some sound words of advice: Listen to your teacher, don't talk when she's talking, and you'll have so much fun and meet so many friends and...he took a deep breath, and said, "Pinky Swear, Mom"? I was kind of caught off guard as to where he'd heard this. I have said it to Riley a couple of times when we'd talked about serious stuff, and I had promised her it would be okay, but apparently he understood this to be one of those situations. So I smiled and kind of laughed and said, "absolutely, pinky swear". He goes, "uh mom? I don't know the one which is my pinky". I held mine up and explained that it's the smallest finger. I reached behind the seat and felt his little finger grab mine. "Is that right?" he asked. I told him he did it perfectly, and in that moment, found it possible to love my son even more.
We got to the school, and we walked in. Today being Wednesday, is their short day. Every year it changes, as do the hours of school time, and this is annoying to me, but I'm guessing that no one really cares about my opinion. So today they went to school fifteen minutes early and got out forty-five minutes early. (It will only take me two-thirds of the year to get this down).
Cole led me to his classroom. As he's been there two times, he knows exactly how to get there--I honestly am always so impressed with his sense of direction. I took him in and had him find his table, and of course, it was the last one we looked at. But he did well in recognizing his name, and sat down, appreciating the crayon box in front of him. There were only like, five kids there, and I was confused as to why, as we were only two minutes early. (Riley informed me later that the buses, the REASON why we have to always have weird scheduled days, were running late). I also noticed that there were no boys at his table...the only one set up this way. I guess it makes sense that Cole will be comfortable like this because he's very used to being around the female gender, but I guess I was a little concerned that there were no other kids at his table. I was kind of sad that he would feel lonely, as Riley and I both would. But then again, Cole is Jeff's son...not only biologically, obviously, but they have a lot of the same personality quirks. Where Riley and I get lonely easily, they are just fine being alone and in their own worlds. It's hard for me to understand, but Jeff has clued me in that this just is, and to deal and accept. As I looked around, there were other parents there, some with video cameras. All of us had that same concerned look on our faces. Trying to get in that private moment where we tell our little ones that we love them, and remind them that they are fabulous, and they'll have so much fun, and to behave. Then it was time for me to go...His teacher had said to the other four kids there that it was time to start--a clever way to tell the lingering parents to leave, and avoid eye-contact with me at the same time. By this time she'd passed out Play-Doh to all the kids and Cole wasn't even interested in me anyway, so I reluctantly left him there at that big circle table, all alone.
Then I had two and a half hours all to myself. How did I fill it? I guess the way I usually do, however, I have had to run both the dishwasher and the washer and dryer to provide the usual background noise that today was so obviously missing. I checked email, filled out some sort of "check all the things you've done in your life" thing, blog-stalked those that I usually do, texted Jeff, who ignored me, just cause he was working. Whatever.
Anyway, miraculously quickly, it was time to go get the kids. I've instructed Riley to pick Cole up after school, and they will come out together, and get into the car. But today I had to go see if there were any other kids at his table. I didn't want to be lonely FOR him. As I peeked in, Cole was making himself a picture, and wearing his backpack. I'm not exactly sure as to why....seemingly how his teacher made him put it in his cubby when he got there. But he was wearing it, unzipped, and finishing some art masterpiece that had to stay there and dry. I watched from the hallway like some kind of creepy peeping tom, occasionally snapping pictures with my new phone--which coincidentally, worked better on those far away pictures than my nice camera. No shakage. Can I just say how much I love my Blackberry? It's fabulous.
I watched him for the last minute or so, before the bell rang. Cole was taught by Riley the importance of raising your hand before talking to the teacher, so I noticed that at least twice he'd be needing to ask a question, and would just stand there, raising his hand, staring at his teacher, while she was otherwise occupied. Yeah, he's going to be THAT kid. But I guess it's better than the one that yells, "TEACHER, TEACHER!" until looked at. There were a couple of those, too.
The bell rang, and Cole came bounding out, his first words being, "I liked it, mom!" And just like that, I relaxed. I didn't even know how stressed I'd been-and I'm an overexaggerater in all things, so you know it was substantial. We waited for Riley and then all walked to the car together. They both had a good day, Riley found out that a boy named Alex, not the one that I know from her previous class, but a blond one, the one that had been staring at her since the first day, is in love with her. (Of course). And Ashlyn is her new best friend. So, not a bad day at all for her. Cole told Riley that his favorite part of school was the "park", (playground), and Riley apologized to Cole that they couldn't have recess together. (Awwww...) We got out of the car, and Cole showed me the inside of his backpack, because if there's one thing I learned from Riley going to Kindergarten is that you don't just ask your kids if they have anything in it, you look yourself and you will find at least three things they need to do that they had, "no idea", were in there. We had a snack...and I'd like to say that this was mainly because the kids were hungry, but no, it's because I was. And then, out of the blue, Cole gets a panicky/angry look on his face, and says, "Mom! You didn't tell me da truth!" I asked what he was talking about and he goes: "You telled me that school was going to be a short time, and I was there for a hundreds hours!" I told him he was there for only two and a half hours, actually, and that that's how many hours he'll be there each day. "EACH DAY? I didn't say I wanted thaaaaat! Now I can't watch my movies!" (You're right Keri. With Cole, I'm definitely seeing the benefits of the home school option).