Back to School

 As of now, it's 7:15 am.  WHAT?!  For a girl and a family that pretty much didn't open blinds to see the sun until afternoon--literally--all summer, this borders on the point of ridiculous.  And I'm equal parts sad and excited for my kiddos.  I probably slept the equivalent of Riley and Cole last night--approximately 3 1/2 hours, and unlike them, I'm not excited about the "possibility" of the day.  I am fretting about getting Syd ready, and getting to school in time to find a place to park, AND take plenty of pictures for Jeff.  (As, he was called into the office today, of all days).
So I will try to finish this post, complete with pictures of Riley and Cole in their first day clothes that they picked out and put so much thought into, and hopefully capture the mood of the occasion.  (Cole even had white gunk on his face last night, and when asked what it was, he replied:  "pimple cream".  So I know both are a little more stressed than they let on).  Anyway, wish us luck....it's going to be interesting.

K.  It's done.  Riley and Cole are gone; have been, for about three hours.  And it's been a LONG three hours.  Sydney has missed them, too.  She's been extra clingy.  And has totally taken over my phone, which is kind of annoying to me, as I'm trying to go through a years worth of pictures. Ah...the things I get to do while the kids are away.  
Honestly? It was hard to let them go.  Harder this year because I felt the, "It isn't cool for Mom to take us to school, anymore," vibe.  They were kind to me--allowed me to take the allotted pictures, and then they were done.  No hugs, no "I love you's".  That's embarrassing stuff these days.  Sorta breaks my heart in a million ways.  Cole was done with me as soon as a friend showed up, and then at Riley's door, I could tell she didn't want me to go in.  She told me she'd "see me later", and I turned around with Syd in hand, and walked back down the ramp.  See?  I'm fully justified in feeling sorry for myself.  But, I did notice a lot of younger kids showing up just with friends.  So I guess I'll be happy with what they gave me.  

And in all in all, they gave me a lot...because today my WYOMING was really showing.  We drove up with this:  

and this:  

Between the mirror and the spare tire, I'm sure we were the epitome of third and sixth grade coolness.  And I may have reluctantly remembered my childhood, promising myself that I'd NEVER subject my fortunate children to the social suicide of being packed around and then dropped off in a fake-wood paneled station wagon.  Sorry children...I had higher hopes for you.  I honestly did.  
Anyway, the school year is here.  Whether I like it or not.  And the kids both said they had an EXCELLENT first day.  So despite the fact that I will and I always do, I have nothing to complain about.  
Also?  A friend brought me lunch and we just ate and talked the entire afternoon.  It was magical, and just what I needed.  I'm in a better place than I was at 7:15 am.  And I got a nap in between then and now.  Maybe I'll make it?  We shall see.

Big Day.

Today, well, later today, one of my best friends ever is getting married.  I've been thinking a lot about her.  She'll be beautiful, and her ceremony will be lovely, and her friends will all laugh and enjoy their time in the paradise she's called home for the last...what?  Six years? Seven years?  Heavens...it hasn't been six or seven, has it? St. John, Virgin Islands:

I totally would have been there, had finances allowed for it.  But I'm still in the vicinity of the $29-a-night-hotel in Vegas.  St. Johns was no where to be found in my budget.  Please don't take that in any way as me not thinking it was important enough, or what have you.  I've had a sadness all week, and I really believe most of it is knowing I'm missing out.  In a lot of ways.  

See? I used these pictures from her blog.  Hopefully she'll forgive me.  I know that this picture is almost four years old, I think...I didn't ask, and yet despite this invasion of her privacy, I'm hoping she will take pity on me and let me vicariously see her wedding through all her pics of happy faces and maybe tipsy friends? ;)  I'm wishing her the best, and I know it will be a classy time.  Because if there's anything that Moriah has always been, it's classy.  With some hilarity on the side.  Much Love your way, Moriah!  Wishing you the best big day, ever.  And then a bazillion more, with your sweetie.  
Last night I had a lot more to this post.  But it was all sad-sack stuff.  So I'll save it for a sad-sack occasion, which is totally not this one.  I wish my friend and her husband love and joy and fat babies.  And above all:  Happiness.  There are always ups and downs.  But happiness stays if you work on it.  And that's my marital advice.  So get working on the fat babies.  

The End of July

What up, all.  
We are now in the last days of July.  Next week I have to register Riley and Cole for school.  FOR SCHOOL.  For their entire next YEAR.  Does anyone know where this last three months have gone?  I'm missing them.  I was asked to today, "what have you done this entire summer?"  And I started, and finished with, "We went to Las Vegas in June..." And then what?  Nothing, really.  I mean, we have managed to cut some trees down, and keep the lawns mowed, and get Syd to most of her classes, and then...not much else.  But, I have to say, we've enjoyed our while of massive laziness.  I surely have.  I mean, other than the despising myself for being so lazy that happens, undoubtedly a week out of each month, I've really enjoyed it.  
And I want to thank the solidarity from those of you that commented on the occasional banality of motherhood.  It's reassuring to me that sometimes I'm normal.  But I think normality is just so foreign to me that it feels like I'm nuts.  I don't know.  I'm working through it.  

Riley got her braces off last week.  Tomorrow we go in to get her retainers.  And then begins her life as a braces-free preteen.  I'm excited about her starting school without them.  She looks so much older to me...

See?  She'll be starting sixth grade.  I can't even believe I have a kid this old...I don't feel this old. The other day I was telling Jeff about how I find myself wondering how I ended up here, about how I got so old so...quickly.  I told him that most of the time I feel like Riley and I could be sisters, instead of Mom and Daughter.  He laughed in my face.  Totally not one to blow smoke up anyone's behind, he let me know how much I could NOT pass for Riley's sister.  But that's okay.  Because I have a tendency to see myself perpetually 25.  Yeah, yeah.  Be nice to me, I have had way too much personal revelation, lately. 
But about Riley--she's happy.  She likes the way she looks and this isn't surprising to me, as I believe she's beautiful.  But I'm so grateful that she's happy with who she is.  I can remember myself in sixth grade, and it was really hard.  I didn't think a lot of myself.  But she does.  And to me, that's most important...and I pray that she continues to feel that way.  I'm proud of who she is.  And I hope that I can be who she needs me to be, for her. She and I have been able to have all these long conversations.  We sit down, do our nails, and have shared opinions about different things.  And speaking of doing nails, I'm pretty proud of myself.  I mean, can you believe it?  So. Fun.   

  

I'm still not able to run a 5K.  But I'm at two and a half miles.  So things are looking up.  I'm feeling better about myself, and getting back to actually starting to enjoy it.  Which is surprising me, immensely.  That very well may change in the next couple of days, because sometimes I look forward to jogging, and then other times I don't.  But I'll do it when I'm feeling it, and not push myself when I don't.  Is that a system, or what? Enough about me...I just had to share that. 

Okay, I should probably get to bed now.  It's 3:00 am, and I can't really be held responsible for the things I say and think during this time frame. They're usually demented, and scary...so it's best for everyone that I shut it and get some shut eye.  But I'll try to get better about posting now that summer is almost over.  Cause that's how I roll.  

Before I go, I need to post a couple pictures, just so I'm allowed to put them on Pinterest.  If you're on it, and you see me, add me.  I'm having so much fun looking at pictures of stuff I will never ever get to have/or could never ever have had the talent to do myself.  It sounds somewhat depressing, but I'm totally addicted.

Syd Stuff.

Okay, not only Syd stuff, but partially.  As far as Syd goes, I guess it's come down to this:  I used to worry about her most of the time.  Occasionally there would be situations where I'd feel relieved and see something where I'd know that things were going to be okay.  Maybe not ALL okay, but not all wrong, either.  The entire Syd situation has turned around.  Now occasionally I'll see something that makes me feel like she needs her Kids Who Count classes twice a week.  But mostly, she's caught up.  Well, maybe not around everyone...she still thinks it's her call whether or not to engage when others are around, but here, with us, she's found her place.  And it kind of trumps all of ours.  But it's okay.  

I knew I'd be relieved if she started catching up, but I didn't realize how happy I would be, and how happy it would make her, as well.  It just seems like we connect so much easier, and she's not as frustrated as she always seemed to be.  Yes, she's still bratty.  But she communicates so well, and she isn't so completely angry about her inability to make me understand her; leaving her in a sobbing heap.  Or me in tears because I was just not getting it.  No matter what she did.  
And for a while we experienced that in-between phase where she would talk, but no one could understand anything she said unless they lived with her, and had heard it before.  Now she is thanking strangers, saying goodbye and hello, making eye contact, showing interest in playing with me and Jeff and Riley and Cole, saying the kids names, saying her name...things that she should have been doing a long time ago, but in these past two months, her progress has been amazing.  In fact, I was told two weeks ago that by the time she goes into kindergarten, there will be no sign of her being behind.  

I'm very grateful.  Things have been happening in my life that haven't been overly great.  (Kind of makes me avoid blogging and such). But this isn't one of them. This is my silver lining.  I guess sometimes you just need a win, you know?  And we are so taking it.  
In other news, I'm kind of sad that summer is halfway over.  Normally I dislike summer, as I've said a bazillion times.  But this year has been different.  I think it's the new house--our backyard has trees and shade, and green grass.  And not one drunken whore yelling into her phone and blowing smoke into our windows. (Well, that I know of).  
So the kids can go outside and jump and swing, and use sidewalk chalk, and do things that I really, really wanted them to be able to do, but basically couldn't because it was way too hot and dusty in Springville.  And nothing against Springville, because I liked it there...just not my neighbors or our backyard.  Plus I've heard from so many people that "there hasn't been any summer!", so, maybe that's another reason I'm enjoying it.  
I will say this:  I've been a lazy, terrible mother.  Not that this is news to most of you, sometimes I am just more than a little disgusted with my daily schedule.  My question is...does everyone have this same experience?  Mothers, I mean?  I do the same things every day.  EVERY DAY.  Sometimes twice or three times.  And after a while, I think that I would be so much more productive if I worked--outside the home, I mean.  That maybe there would be some sort of evidence that I do something now and then.  This is me being a sad sack, but I do have these feelings. 
Anyway, I'm trying to take matters into my own hands.  I've started jogging again, so that's actually been good.  You can never tell physically, but I do notice that there aren't as many nonsensical thoughts pinging around in my brain.  I guess not as many that scare me, anyway.  I do have to say that I started up after our vacation.  I was blissfully lazy for the better part of a year.  And then I saw pictures of my friend that recently had a baby, and then had picked up running again.  She was tiny, and I was engorged on donuts from Krispy Kreme runs each night while staying in Circus Circus.  So I thought about it, and told myself that I needed to make some changes.  And I did...and I almost died.  In fact, in working up to two miles I'd come home reeking of B.O. and having little flies embedded in the sweat that covered my face.  So thanks for that, Leah.
It's better, now.  I can't run a 5K just yet, but maybe in a month or so?  I don't know.  I guess as long as I'm doing something.  Anyway, I'll post again, soon.  It's late, and I need to figure out this Pinterest thing on my phone.  Yet another way to waste time, but I want to find ways to showcase Jeff's artwork in a different light...so maybe this will be it.  Later gators.

Summing up summer. Thus far.

Did you miss me?  
Jeff has been asking me when I was going to post on this blog again.  But there's been a lot going on, in fact, too much.  Too much that it's a little daunting to think about how to post about everything WITHOUT going beyond twenty paragraphs.  
Maybe it will go beyond twenty.  Suck it up, babies.  You've got an entire workweek to get through.  So let the good times, or the reminiscing of the good times, roll....

The first weekend of June, Cole got baptized.  It went well.  Jeff did a great job, and Cole felt special, and we ate Einstein bagels and cold cuts.  You know--celebration foods of the highest quality.  I wanted to thank Sharon and Rene for getting our banquet ready for us, while we were at the church.  I don't think I thanked them on the big day...I have a tendency to stress in those situations...and I was overly worried that my house was stinky.  It's an ongoing fear I have. Oh, and the middle and bottom pictures were from my sister in law, Gabby.  She did fantastic. 

Mid June we went on our family vacation, to Las Vegas. Now, before you're a bit grossed out at our lack of diversity and such when it comes to getting out of Utah, remember:  We are new at the whole entire vacation thing.  And we're not overly poor anymore, but unfortunately, we aren't overly abundant in moola, either.  So we did the Las Vegas family vacation for the second time.  This trip we stayed at Circus Circus.  And I was kind of worried that it would be really trashy and dirty and so on and so forth.  But, it was actually perfect for us.  We fit right in.  Along with all the Germans and Swedes and guys in banana hammocks at the pool..(possibly both were the same?), it made for interesting days.  Honestly though, the kids and Jeff and I had a lot of fun.  We spent an entire day at the Adventure Dome, and we all felt as if we'd puke at least once.  Even Syd.

Puke feeling aside, it was a fun day.  Cole wasn't too disappointed when it was over.  But it was nice to be in a place where our room was.  We went and put Syd to sleep in our room, and Riley and Cole turned on iCarly.  (And watched the same episodes they'd seen at least four times since we got there).  We still had an hour before the amusement park closed down, so Jeff and I decided to go on a couple rides by ourselves.  I think that was the first time since before Riley.  And it was awesome.  

Five bucks later, and we had the above picture--cause we had to commemorate the event.  Obviously.  But luckily it wasn't cheesy at all, just romantic and super-rad.

I was excited for the day when we'd get out of the casino, and take in sights on the strip.  We got up and got dressed and went and parked in parking for Caesar's Palace.  We saw the fountain, and took the kids to see the fish in their ginormous tank.  I thought it was fun, but the kids were missing iCarly, and Jeff was tired.  And then I did the unthinkable...I suggested we go see MORE sights, and go to other casinos.  I was thinking the Bellagio, and MGM Grand, and more...but we got to the next casino over, crossed the boardwalk, and everyone started whining about how hot it was.  And how they wanted to go back to our room.  Jeff included.  I was pretty disappointed in them. I also had to twist arms to get this picture, and I tried to sweeten the deal by telling them that everyone will see how much fun we had if I could only get some pictures of stuff.  And then Jeff told me that the only people that take pictures on vacation are the people that are bored enough to take pictures.  At that, I gave up, and we went back.  I went for a walk by MYSELF, cause I was so ticked with my boring spouse and offspring. When I got back, I was really surprised to see the family laying on the beds, and watching Nickelodeon.  We all went swimming for a while, and then we got some Kripsy Creme donuts.  I pretty much thought that day was a bust, but the next was enjoyed by all.     

We went and played the games and everyone was pretty great at winning stuff.  Except me.  I'm quite incapable when it comes to all that stuff.  Everyone wanted a monkey.  But I wanted one most.  And then Jeff won one for me.  And Syd took it.  And then Cole won one.  And he kept it, and Riley did the same.  Unfair, right?  I had to hold Syd while we took a time out to watch the African gymnasts.  And that blissful smile I'm wearing?  It was appreciation for their superb talent.  And SO many muscles.... 

So that's a lot of pictures, but it doesn't mean I was bored.  The kids had fun, Jeff didn't work AT ALL, and had fun, and I got a tan and had fun.  It was a relaxing week.  The only somewhat sad part for me was getting a dose of reality.  As we were walking in Caesar's Palace, I saw this guy...and I'm pretty sure he was the product of the descriptions of so many of the sleazy books I read.  However, in real life?  It doesn't work for me...built, leather, (it was 107 degrees out, so that was kinda overkill), long hair, pretty face....and all I could think was:  "Is he a stripper?"  The thought of all the time that man spent on his hair...well, it wasn't just as sexy as I thought it would be. (And fyi?  I was wearing cutoffs, dirty flip flops, and sweating like I'd been running a couple of miles...so I'm sure he was noticing me, as well.  But I'm a happily married woman, so that was the end of the story).

Anyway, we're still new at this vacation thing.  One of these days we will venture out of the Las Vegas area, and try to entertain ourselves in a different way.  But until then, we love it.  Not too far to drive, cheap, and a various amount of activities close to our living space.  Maybe one of these days we'll be more adventurous...until then, Sin City seems to be the place for us. 

Anyhoo, I'll post about the end of this month later.  It's late, Dudes.  I'm getting tired, and those of you that are working, I'm betting your lunch break is right around the corner.  You're welllllcome!  

Talking the Talk.

I need to show a video of Syd and her talking skills.  I feel like I can't just brag and then not give you any proof that there is something truly happening.  So here's some.  Proof, and talking, that is.  Please ignore my voice...I wish the speakers on my phone could be changed to the side of what I'm recording because, I'm sure as you'll hear, my commentary detracts from the actual picture.  I want to remind you that at the beginning of this month, she may have said one of the animal sounds, and that's it.  So she's come a really long way. 

And there it is.  This is what's made Jeff and I and Riley and Cole really happy, and brought us tons of enjoyment, lately.  It's little, but so much to all of us.  And as I type this, she's still yapping up a storm while she plays with all the little animals.  Much of it is jabber, but there are a few "OH NO!"s, and "Wow"s, and "YEAH"s, interspersed with animal sounds.  Music to my ears.  For reals. 

Good News.

Despite my face breaking out, my PMS insanity, and getting a cold sore, life is pretty sweet.  Syd has been on a talking rampage.  RAMPAGE!  Copying everything she hears, and it's starting to sound more and more like real words.  Even to people that are NOT in the immediate family.  I have to share, because you know...it's like, the biggest relief I've felt in so long.  Maybe since Cole?  I don't know.  My baby Syd is talking.  And making eye contact, and using tiny phrases.  Is she still behind?  Yes.  But, in this last week, the words she uses has tripled.  And the two mornings we've been to group I've been told by EVERYONE how impressed they are with Syd's improvement.  Not that that's the most important thing here, but it feels really, really good. :)

I know I've been a downer about a lot of things lately.  But I had to share something fantastic.  And FYI?  This is a picture of my Squish actually SAYING cheese.  Warms my heart.  Happy weekend, all!