Empty Nest part one.

Okay, so I know already that tomorrow I'll have lots to add to today's post, therefore, I'm doing it in increments. Because I'm brilliant, obviously. Today was the day I'd been kind of dreading. Cole's Kindergarten assessment test. A few posts ago I'd said that he was assessed back while I registered both kids for this year. And I wasn't there, while he was tested, so I just kind of guessed what they'd look for in a kid starting Kindergarten. When Riley started, they required her to know the alphabet...both upper and lower cases weren't required, just as long as they had some recognition of the letter, how to write her name, and to count from 1 to 10. Easy, peasy. And remember when I said that I didn't prep him whatsoever before going? And a stranger took him, alone, into an unfamiliar classroom and asked him questions. And before all this, tried to calm him with fruit snacks. Cole is a "dessert after" kind of guy. Otherwise, he just doesn't have any real motive to do what you're asking of him, does he? Anyway, after that, Jeff has been working with him on his letters, and I've been working with him on his numbers. He and I would sing the alphabet, he could write his name, but a bit of dyslexia would set in and sometimes he'd switch the position of the e and the l. So, all in all, he was really coming along. I even bought him a couple of DVDs of Sesame Street. The Alphabet and counting to 20. I realize, knowing my son, and the way he has every DVD of ours memorized, this should have been the way to go in the first place. But I didn't want to be "that parent". The one that sits their kid in front of the TV all day, and expects them to learn. The problem? Cole is that kid. He LOVES watching movies...and watching them over and over so he can understand the jokes, the lines, the definition of words, and repeat them. Riley was never that way, she liked the one on one time with me or Jeff. Cole just thinks it's lame after fifteen minutes. So, after watching the alphabet movie a couple of times, he was easily saying L, M, N, O, P as them being their own letters...(something that I didn't realize I think until like, first grade, at the earliest). And he went from counting to ten easily to getting to fourteen...and skips fifteen, and from there, can get to twenty. We still have to convince him that fifteen is an important number, too. All in all, though, I really thought he was ready for his testing. So a little before it was time, I used a magazine in the car, and started to ask him to name letters, as I pointed to them. For the first two minutes he was fine--doing excellent, and then he started to see more late kids show up for school, and lost interest. I got frustrated, because instead of looking at the letters, he watched the kids, and just guessed a letter when I'd ask him about one. (His eyes didn't even PRETEND to look at what I was pointing to), and I began to get frustrated and preachy, and he got his feelings hurt, and more nervous. So, points for me being the best mom in the world and all that. We then when into the school, and he saw his teacher, who is a little weird, to me...but I think that has to be the norm, because remember Miss Lippy on Billy Madison? I pretty much compare all Kindergarten teachers to her, and then feel better about the person in front of me.
I had to sit down and fill out papers while she tested Cole...and it was bad that I was there. Not for Cole's sake, however, for mine. Now, you've probably picked up a few clues as to the kind of parent I am. But when it comes to others TEACHING my children, it's like I become that parent screaming at the little league tee-ball team. I control it, but it's really, really difficult. I sat there, listening to Cole's teacher's requests: write your name-check. Count for me, as high as you can-check. What's this letter?-check.
Then it all went terribly wrong: Write the numbers one through ten. Write an A, a D, and an F. Tell me which words here are the "Rhyming" words. Show me where the front cover of the book is.....HUH? Cole was so unprepared. And confused. And it was so painful for me to watch. But on top of that, I was getting pissed and frustrated because as I sat there pretending to fill out emergency contact information AGAIN, she was asking him all these questions that, hello, aren't you supposed to LEARN in Kindergarden? I mean, what do you go for, besides the social developement, if you already know all this stuff? And the way she phrased her questions was weird, too...she wouldn't rephrase them. For instance: What does a "C" say? Cole just looks at her, she looks back at him and repeats, "What dooooes a C saaaaay"? Cole goes, "I don't know, what does it say"? And instead of rephrasing the question, she just went onto another letter. What does an "F" say? And so on and so forth. Well, Cole really didn't have a clue as to what she was asking. We've taught him, "what makes a "ca" sound?, to wich he'll respond, "C" or "K". And that's how he knows which letter it is...the other way around, it just made no sense to him, and I wanted to shout and tell her she was doing it all wrong, but the more sane side of myself kept reminding me to calm down and breathe, and it would do no favors to Cole for me to become enemies with his teacher. So I just sat there, and stewed, until they were done. Now, after all that, you'd think I would have gotten out of there, but she asked Cole if he was ready for school tomorrow, and he said yes, excited that he'd "done so well" on his testing.
I couldn't leave it at that. I wanted to explain a little...explain that no, my son isn't a dullard. (Oh, BTW, he totally kicked @ss on his listening and comprehension skills, I just had to add that. He's always been that kid that doesn't have to even look at you, and he's all over the place and you don't think he's using a single brain cell. However, afterwards, he can pretty much repeat exactly what you just said--and he gets it).
So I went up to his teacher, and started to explain that he knows all the sounds of letters, it's just that I've taught him wrong, I guess....and then, I could feel it coming on, but I couldn't control it, and I was right in the middle of a sentence, so I couldn't just run...I start bawling. I mean, the sobbing kind, that is uncomfortable for everyone. I was so embarrassed and angry with myself that it just got harder to control myself, and I finally choked out, "sorry, hormones and stuff..." She got this terrified look on her face, thinking I was snapping, and she needed to get to another assessment test, so she goes, "oh, he's going to do great. I know he's a smart kid, I can tell!" I gave her a smile while I was still convulsing and I'm sure it was really pretty and convincing on top of that. I apologized again, tried to make a joke of it, and obviously, at that point in time, could do nothing more than fail miserably. So now I'm just hoping that life will be a little easier for Cole seemingly how his teacher knows what he's dealing with at home. Either that, or she'll be so afraid to do anything remotely upsetting to him...and I guess that's a bit comforting as well. Yes, I am reaching. But honestly, it's all I can do after the humiliation that I suffered. Luckily I have Jeff to message during the day and relate all my fiascos. After our years of being together, he's just so good at knowing what to say to me, and how to say it. Also, Kelli came over and I explained to her the scenario. She eased my fears with her stories of working with school children and how they just try to cover EVERY base, to see not only if the kid is behind, but also advanced. They both really helped to settle my nerves and to hope that all is not lost.
Anyway, a very long and emotional story short, that was our preparation for today....his first day of school. Right now, he's downstairs, watching a movie that he knows all the words and sounds to, and I'm gearing myself to get him dressed and take him there. In a way, I'm sad. I know it's only two and a half hours of time to myself, and I'm sure that once Squish comes, I'll be thankful for the break..and that's what I've taken to calling Sydney...just because she's pretty much a bratty parasite right now. And because I've heard my sister Muff refer to her a couple times as "a little Squishy", and it just sort of caught on. (I say bratty, because she is. I can't lean up against anything, lay my favorite way, or sit on my favorite chair, just because she refuses to let me, already. She freaks out and starts kicking and punching until I move, and then she's okay. Also, she's begun to spaz out when I smell food, if I haven't eaten in the mornings. This never happened with my other two and it reminds me of scary alien babies, and books I've read where the host is impregnated with some sort of demon spawn. That being said, I am quite fond of my little Squish, but a little creeped out, as well).
Okay, that's the end of part one. I'm going to go get Cole dressed, and take pictures of him outside his classroom, and probably cry because for some reason, though I never would have guessed, I am that parent. Wish him luck.
(Also, I used pictures from my new phone...I'm pretty stoked about this, as they're not too blurry and such. So I tried to insert them in a place that would make sense, but if they don't, that's why). Until next time!